


Le temps de l'amour

by sagilarious



Series: Catholic Vampire Lovepile Indulgence [1]
Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, Biting, Blood Drinking, Catholic Guilt, Confessional, Dirty Talk, Frottage, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Priest AU, Priest Shuu, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Roman Catholicism, Thralls, Vampires, Vampires & Thralls, Wet Dream, how are those not tags where are the bad vamp fics of ole
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2019-04-22 01:49:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 26,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14298123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sagilarious/pseuds/sagilarious
Summary: Rei is a student abroad at a historic catholic university due to family obligations with his brother Ritsu. While a student there, he’s introduced to a deacon, part of the theology department and studying to become a priest, Itsuki Shu. They become fast friends, despite their differences and soon are inseperable. But bad luck and a vampire bite can change things; does it go against Shu’s belief and God’s will to love a vampire?Terrible at summaries; a gift for Peach.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [@PeachesChrist](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=%40PeachesChrist).



Rei Sakuma, for all his agnostic leanings, would freely admit to living a blessed life. Born into a family of great influence, he was able to travel freely from a young age, get whatever education he desired without a care for money trouble within reason. Sure, he had to keep his sexuality and love of western rock music to himself mostly; but how could Rei complain? He was surrounded by those he chose to be and spoiled terribly, only smothered a little by the responsibility of legacy; legacies like a few old properties he’d inherit when his mother passed, or a large share in a company or two. 

One such unavoidable responsibility lead him to the English countryside, to a historic catholic university; the University of Saint Sebastian. It was a prestigious campus, all old stone buildings mix-matched with newer brick restorations blending in with the history. The cathedral, of course, was the grandest building in the complex with towering spires and enough stained glass to build more than 5 multicolored greenhouses. Rei’s great aunt had married the dean of the university long before Rei could so much as walk, and his mother had attended for a graduate’s degree or two, so it stood as an institution in the back pockets of the Sakuma family. 

Naturally, Rei wasn’t personally inclined to attend a Catholic university. Naturally, at age 25 after years of successful avoidance, he’d enrolled. 

It wasn’t a terrible thing, he could admit to himself. He had an apartment off campus, close enough to the train to get him places lively and interesting, far enough away that he could ride his bike to campus when he felt like it. The faculty were stuffy but the curriculum was interesting and legitimate; not every student was a deacon or headed for seminary service of some kind so it gave a flavor to the classes he hadn’t anticipated. Ritsu was there, as well, and even if he was a bit distant it warmed Rei’s heart to have his precious brother close by no matter what.

Rei was having lunch with him today, in a cafe close to the university. He sipped his sweet black coffee as Ritsu yawned adorably, letting his classmate order them both tea. His name was Shino, and with Mao left behind in Japan Ritsu seems to be dragging him along in a similar way Rei thought with a frown. At least this Hajime was much quieter than Mao was. 

“Are you paying attention to what I was saying, Ritsu?” he drawled after placing his coffee down. “Mother will bother me if you don’t keep your grades and drop out again.”

Ritsu rolls his eyes languidly, which would hurt Rei if he wasn’t also smiling. “There’s nothing wrong with my grades, Onii-chan, I’m just saying they work me too haaard here. I do piano, but the organ is a lot more complicated!”

“But senpai is very talent at playing, even if he has difficulties,” Hajime adds politely. 

Ritsu pouts, the waitress brings their tea to the table as he crosses his arms. “Our instructor is too strict. He’s annoying, I get the work done and he’s  _ still _ so demanding.”

“That’s because you only do what you need to pass and no more, Ritsu.” Rei sighs, patting his brother on the head to his muffled protest. “Not to scold, I’m happy you’re doing well no matter how. Why don’t you try extracurriculars with Hajime-kun? Isn’t he involved in the choir?”

Hajime perks up at this, Rei can imagine his hair as dog ears almost, his face is so eager and open. “Yes, I am! Our choral director is one of the deacons in the theology department, he’s the youngest person in the staff and he’s very talented—“

“Pass, he’s a bother always trying to recruit me when he sees me after class with you,” Ritsu interrupts, leaning heavily on Hajime. “You have to perform at services every week, don’t you? That’s a lot of free time taken up…”

Rei would point out that Ritsu didn’t do much without his new friend anyway, but he takes a sip of his coffee instead. Both Hajime and Ritsu look up as the doorbell chimes and Ritsu scowls “Speak of the devil.”

Entering the cafe is a slim man with delicate mannerisms and pale skin, hair so strawberry blonde it looked almost pink in the midday sun. Rei was surprised to see he was japanese, most of the staff seemed to be local.

Hajime got up to speak to him almost immediately, calling “Professor Itsuki! Good afternoon,” This Itsuki man, with an elegant scowl etched onto his face gave Hajime a nod in acknowledgment. “Hajime, Ritsu. Have you further considered my proposal? Your tenor would make a lovely addition to my compositions this sunday.” 

Ritsu yawned into his teacup, pointedly answering Itsuki’s pristine english in japanese. “No thanks, Shu-kun is a slave driver and i have coursework to do.”

Rei tutted, getting up from his chair “Ritsu that’s no way to speak to an instructor, Itsuki Shu was it? I’m Sakuma Rei, thanks for taking care of my cute little brother.” He answered in english, holding out his hand to shake.

Shu raised an arched brow at him, analytical gaze sweeping his casual attire before accepting his hand. “Your accent is as clear as your brothers, do you also have perfect pitch? You’re a little tall but you could fit into my vocal arrangements well if you were interested. Do you play any instruments?”

Rei mirrored his expression with an easy smile, wondering what height had to do with choral music “Do you always interview for your choir upon first meeting someone? Are you short on members Father?” 

Shu scoffed as if offended. “It isn’t Father yet, I’m only a deacon, call me what you wish. You could call me a fool for not recognizing your talent the first time i laid eyes on you or your brother; even without the Sakuma name attached it’s obvious upon first speaking to you that you’re cultured at least; you’re flawlessly bilingual after all. I’ve never seen you in our department before, are you also studying at Saint Sebastian’s?”

“Well yes, only history not music. I play, though I somehow doubt the music I enjoy aligns with the kind you compose~ Unless Jesus Christ Superstar is in your repertoire?” Rei joked, inclining his head.

Shu pursed his lips. “It’s inelegant, but not terribly composed. We’ve put on the play once or twice for the congregation.” 

Rei gave Shu a surprised look, letting out a short laugh at his amused expression. “Joking,” Shu adds, clearing his throat.

“Do think over the offer, Rei; Yours isn’t a talent to waste. I’ll see you at practice Hajime, til next time Ritsu.” 

Rei sits back down at the cafe table, finding Ritsu dozed off and resting on his elbows. He meets Hajime’s eyes with humor. “What an interesting deacon.” he comments politely, and finishes off his coffee.

 

***

 

Ever since that day in the cafe, Rei seemed to notice Shu’s presence everywhere. He’d bump into him in between classes, on his way to lunch, leaving the library. Generally he wasn’t found in the actual church on campus, so it was a surprise to Rei to see him at all. 

More of a surprise was how much  _ fun _ the deacon was to be around. 

“So, the reason you said I was too tall for your choir is because you sew all their robes yourself?” Rei asked one day after running into him on the first floor library.

“Of course,” Shu admitted freely, as if it were obvious. “While my true job is to conduct the voice students during mass I see no reason to torture my compositions in dusty poly-blends!”

“Ah, naturally, one wouldn’t want to blend  _ fabrics. _ ” Rei added, smug but amused.

Shu raised an eyebrow at him “You’re above underhanded Leviticus references, you know. It’s simply about the quality of delivery; there is something decidedly trashy about treating a performance at mass like something unimportant when it should be revered.”

“Revered, sure, but shouldn’t all parish-goers come as they are?” Rei dug, curious. Shu seemed controlling to a fault but for a deacon? Fashion worries seemed to scream shallow earthly tethers. “Surely you’d let me come into church dressed the way I am if I wanted to partake.” he added with a gesture.

Shu’s eyes didn’t lingered on his outfit for long without a sigh “No, your refined blend of gothic visual kei and punk is marvelous as it is and you know it.” Rei could feel his cheeks warm at the compliment, glad of Shu turning away from him to continue, “But being a part of the congregation is different. Mass is ceremony, sacrament. Sacraments deserve  _ beauty _ , the holiness of beauty is evident in how catholicism since it’s birth has attracted layman’s to its faith.” Shu looked at Rei with finality, and a small smile. “The masses may come as they are but the service must be something beautiful for them to bother  _ staying _ as they come.”

A few days later, he flagged the deacon down in one of the markets nearby, and continued their discussion: “So, to you, there’s nothing holy without beauty? Isn’t that some sort of contradiction to the idea of giving your life to a faith regardless of material possession or wealth?” 

Shu shrugged and somehow it seemed elegant. “Not all the clergy agrees with the Francis D’Assisi model of priesthood. The reason one studies to become a clergyman is to understand there is no tried and true path, and that many have walked in opposite directions and still made their way to the light.” 

“Besides, there is no holiness without beauty. Not shallow beauty, but spiritual wholeness is inherently beautiful; it has no room for ugliness. Aesthetic beauty is the vessel we use for those of small mind to see the beauty in plain sight...without the aesthetics, millions would not have the intellect to understand god’s beauty.” Shu adjusts the paper bag he cradles in his arm and gives Rei a searching look. “What is it about my area of study that drives you to ask so many questions? You study history and seem entirely uninterested in religious studies yourself.”

Rei flashes a smile. “It’s less about your area of study, and more about you I admit. I’ve never met a man of religion who dyes his hair and sews his own lace.”

Shu flushes a delightful shade of pink that Rei has to force himself to not enjoy. He stutters out, “W-well most don’t tend to notice and it isn’t as if it’s against regulations. And you’d be surprised how many priests can sew good lace, though obviously none to my standard of course.” 

Rei laughed, “Modest are we?”

Shu smiled, “Modesty in church? Of course. Modesty in the sunday market? Don’t be obtuse, we are both too good for it.”

That afternoon they exchanged contact information. Rei was horrible with a phone, hardly used it but Shu insisted they keep in touch so he could run some vocal arrangements by him sometime. Surprising no one more than himself, Rei found he’d more often than not actually answer when the deacon called him; though it did surprise his little brother quite a lot if Ritsu’s wide-eyed stare and subsequent teasing were anything to go by. Still, Shu only called on him when he was free to meet and Rei found he didn’t mind meeting the deacon on purpose instead of by stroke of luck.

A few days later, Shu called Rei to join him at the cafe they’d first met in. It wasn’t too busy, but they both chose to sit at a table near the back anyway. Shu had only a single croissant; Rei couldn’t recall an instance where he’d seen the man eat any food that wasn’t something small, light, and french.

“I’m curious,” Shu began, as Rei stirred sugar into his coffee, “why is it that you sit and talk with me about my arrangements for the choir, yet never come see them perform?”

“Ah,” Rei sighed, running a hand through the longer ends of his hair. “The choir does tour and such, doesn’t it? But most of your vocal conducting happens at the church.”

Shu nods, so Rei continues on bluntly, “I’m not overly fond of being in churches. No offense.”

At this Shu gives him a look. “I’m not foolish enough to assume you don’t attend mass because of my presence there. I’m simply asking why you seem adverse to the idea of attending any at all, even for the music?”

Well, Rei thinks, it was nice having a deacon around while it lasted. “I’ve always considered myself agnostic, at best.” Rei states, “And utmost definitely homosexual. So meandering into churches because I enjoy a good choral composition doesn’t usually cross my mind, even if I do attend a Catholic university.”

To Shu’s credit, his expression only wanes slightly, pale complexion coloring as Rei takes a deep drink of coffee in the pause after his statements. Shu lets out a puff of air in a huff, shaking his head. “Well, you  _ should  _ let it cross your mind. Unless you plan to loudly defame god or otherwise disrupt the mass I still see no reason for you not to see a performance by my boys.” 

Rei is taken aback. “You think as a deacon that gay non-believers should attend church each sunday?”

“I’m sure plenty do already.” Shu answers. “Weren’t you insisting on coming as you are before? There is no room in the sacrament of mass for rejection of God’s creations. Homosexual or...otherwise, not allowing bystanders to view the beauty of sacrament is like barring the Jewish from viewing the Vatican Museum, foolish!” He seems to lose steam, trailing off as if catching himself. “...I would never presume to convert you, ridiculous. I simply enjoy your feedback.”

“My feedback?” Rei answers, abashed. Shu looks shy, almost pouty in the way he’s frowning and it somehow puts him back at ease again even after his strange, personal tangent. “Were you been lonely during your last mass, Shu~? Want me to attend to brighten your spirits?”

“Oh, hush you!” Shu hastens, face flushing and frowning in a way that made Rei think he was trying not to smile.

Against the odds, Rei thought to himself, he seemed to have befriended Shu Itsuki. His semester continued on as it once did, with him riding the train from his flat to the campus as the month’s got colder. He found himself knowing more and more about this peculiar deacon as the season wore on. Shu loved to sew, it came from his grandmother’s teaching him as a young boy after church. She was a collector of european porcelain dolls, so the few times Rei had glimpsed into Shu’s personal flat he found it covered in them; glassy eyes well polished and never dusty. Shu was incredibly peculiar about food and if he was invited out to eat almost always simply had a glass of wine or water, occasionally picking at breads or light desserts. Shu knew more about rock music than he’d let on, and Rei found them bonding over old bands as much as classic composers. He had a weak composition and winter was hard on him, he could sew just about any sort of garment, his favorite food was croissants...Rei found himself compounding information on the man like a research paper, works cited as the lunches they’d grab together or the late nights spent studying side by side. 

It had been a while since Rei had spent so much time with anyone outside of Ritsu; most of his close friends left behind in Japan or sprawled around the globe in hard to reach places for extravagant projects. So as he found the holiday break approaching, Rei continued going to uni about as often as he would normally just to see him. He hadn’t managed to make himself step foot into any chapels for Shu, but he didn’t mind spending more time in the library if it meant he could chat with him. Today though, he ran into Ritsu, greeting him with a warm hug for the cold weather.

“Hey, Onii-chan, why are you here today?” Ritsu asked, quirking his head to the side adorably. “Here to make eyes at that priest some more?” he added, less adorably.

Rei sighed and pulled away. “I do not make eyes at him, but yes I was thinking to stop by his faculty office. Have you just finished your final for your thursday lecture?”

“Mmhm,” Ritsu says, bouncing on his heels and grinning. “I’m going to try and invite Hajime clubbing with me tomorrow night. There’s some kind of stupid ‘Halloween for Christmas’ theme and I want to dress him up and corrupt him. Plus even though he’s broke he always buys me things when we go out, maybe he’ll buy all my alcohol~.”

Rei laughed a little, not at all shocked that Ritsu’s closest friend spoiled him just as much as everyone else did. Who could help it, anyway? “Well, good luck with that. Doesn’t he dislike that sort of thing? You and he aren’t...involved are you?” Rei asks, suddenly pressed in tone.

“Don’t be gross, Onii-chan that’s none of your business.” Ritsu says simply. He pulls his scarf tighter around his neck and grins at Rei with a wave. “You should go with your priest friend. Imagine him at a nightclub! I’ll see you later, nosey.” 

“Ah, Ritsu, keep warm!” Rei shouts after him, helpless. The idea of Shu dancing with him in a club is about as foreign a thought as they come but unfortunately not an unpleasant one. Rei ignores the warmth of his cheeks as he heads into the campus building, looking for a flash of pink hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leviticus, mentioned only briefly, is the section of the bible that intones such things as "man shall not lay with man etc" if memory serves; but it also makes sure to let you know you also should NEVER blend cotton with linen or whatever, cause god hates that. Rei would definitely have read it at least once
> 
> Thanks to Ana for reading this over for me...this fic has been a long time coming because everyone knows Shu is a repressed catholic boy who deserves kisses.  
> A gift for Peach; happy birthday!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get significantly more vampiric.

Rei was accustomed to his little brother showing up at his flat at all times of the night. The place he lived was much closer to Ritsu’s preferred partying grounds, and sometimes he would simply crash at Rei’s place instead of taking a cab back home. Rei wasn’t necessarily accustomed to his little brother showing up at his flat covered in fake blood and nearly passed out in the doorway. His pajamas were ruined by the time he closed his door, and at this point he was worrying for his carpet.

“Ritsu, what’s wrong? Did you drink too much? Come, let onii-chan help you get into the shower, you’re covered in this bad smelling...costume blood…” Rei says, trying to keep his alarm from his tone. Ritsu is gurgling something into his shoulder, and Rei scrunches up his nose; god what he was covered in smells _bad_. Ritsu is basically dead weight in his arms, which isn’t unusual when he’s feeling lethargic but something about this act and his dazed expression has Rei on edge.

“You know I’m expecting company tonight,” Rei adds to him, talking to keep him lucid and walking “Shu was going to stop by and help me mend a torn sweater. Isn’t that so _priestly_ of him? Community church outreach, or something.” He chuckles, hoping his brother would join in. Ritsu does not join in. Rei grips his shoulder and gives Ritsu a firm shake.

“Ritsu. You’re scaring me. Do I need to take you to the hospital?”

Ritsu’s neck lolls backward, and Rei notes that under the smell of cheap liquor is something metallic. His brother’s eyes fly open, with a startling focus, and Rei nearly jumps looking at them. Their warm hazel looks nearly red in the lighting of his hallway.

“Onii-chan.” Ritsu states, slurred. His teeth are stained cherry red and he leans forward as Rei catches him. “I’m thirsty.”

“I’m sure you are, but I can bring you water after I get you out of these filthy clothes.” Rei chastises, giving his brother’s shoulder a comforting squeeze. Ritsu looks sourly down at his clothes, and says “They weren’t always like this, I’m not _tacky_ Anija...stupid... asshole made me a mess...bleeding…” he trailed off, leaning heavily on Rei once more with hooded eyes.

“Some man made you a mess? Ritsu. Were you drugged?” Rei is trying not to panic, more holding his brother than holding him up. “Did you say blood? This blood is _someone’s_?!”

“Mmm,” Ritsu says groggily, his arms around Rei like it’s a casual hug and not a death grip of worry “Mine, I think.”

“ _Ritsu—“_ Rei nearly shrieks, tearing his brother away, or trying to. He doesn’t budge, arms wrapped around Rei’s waist as they tumble into a wall, breathing startlingly even at Rei’s collarbone.

“I’m so thirsty, Onii-chan.”

The bite itself wasn’t much of a shock. Ritsu has bitten him before, after all; Ritsu and Rei would play-fight as much as any brothers growing up. There was a strange deja-vu to it, like he should melodramatically shriek and scream so Ritsu would feel tough.

The sloppy, carnivorous way Ritsu licked and sucked at his blood was the real shock. Where he’d bitten into Rei’s skin, just above the collarbone ached as all the blood that could make it rushed to the spot as if magnetized through Ritsu’s hungry mouth. Rei began to struggle, the haze settling over his perception of reality not strong enough to kill his fight or flight instinct; but his brothers arms were a steel cage and his heartbeat stuttered in his chest.

It was all over a lot faster than one would assume dying would be. There was a gasp of breath, a sudden silence and then black.

 

***

 

Like a bad jump-cut, the world came back to Rei with a shout.

His eyes were open to the ceiling of his hallway, his mouth was closed. It was not his shout, and soon his vision caught up with his hearing as he sat up on his carpet. Shu Itsuki, looking pale as the grave and clutching his ruffled shirt like he’d been struck. Shu gasps as if to speak, but his eyes roll back and he collapsed where he stood in Rei’s open doorway.

Why was his doorway open? Rei breathed deeply, and regretted it. The metallic smell Ritsu had left on him was still there. He had to help Shu, still, and on instinct alone found himself kneeling beside him, lifting his slight frame from the floor onto his couch nearby. Rei felt weak and shaken, he tumbled onto the cushions himself, collapsing atop Shu’s legs almost as soon as he was set down. _Shu_ , Rei’s mind supplied uselessly, _probably needs cold water after fainting._

Consciousness for Rei, tenuous as he grasped it, was like flicking through tv channels. As if each moment were a snapshot of his home they seemed to come to him in bursts of awareness; standing by the couch, grabbing the cabinet, glass in hand, standing by the fridge, pouring water into glass, standing by the couch. The water was cold, Rei knew objectively because he poured it from a pitcher in his refrigerator at some point...but it felt warm. Something about breathing felt strange, as if he was underwater and could not relieve the pressure with more air if he tried. He could see the water in the glass ripple as his hand trembled.

_I’m so thirsty, Onii-chan._

“R...Rei? Is that you?”

Shu’s voice was a beacon in the fog. Rei’s eyes focused on his eyes, strange lavender irises full of fright. Rei knelt, and though the wind was knocked from his lungs he held out the glass of water until Shu accepted it. Why was he thinking of his little brother? Where was Ritsu right now? Rei surveyed his friend and gasped suddenly.

“Your trousers! Why are they covered in blood? Did you cut yourself when you fell?!” Rei scrambled to touch Shu’s legs, struggling to find any sign of a cut or tear. Shu grabs his hands suddenly, dropping the empty glass on the carpet with a discerning _clink_.

“Rei, that’s— _you’re the one who got blood on me._ You...you’re covered in it.” Shu says, shaking like a leaf. His grip is strong, and the only thing keeping Rei upright as he breaks the surface of the haze around his thoughts and he _breathes._

Rei looks down at himself. Night shirt slightly torn, he is drenched in burgundy red. Shu releases his hands, and he drags one across his face, coming back flaked with dried blood. He licks his lips from nerves, and regrets it with a grimace. Why was he…?

“Where’s Ritsu?”

Shu, still looking like he’ll faint again any minute, takes in a weak breath. “What…?” Rei feels an odd awareness of Shu’s breathing, his heartbeat. How can he feel Shu’s heartbeat, from where he is kneeling and not touching him?

“My brother. Was he...is he still here?” Rei says, as a rush of worry pumps adrenaline into him. He stands, rushing away from Shu into his flat. No Ritsu in the kitchen, and he can still hear Shu’s heartbeat, irregular and lurching. No Ritsu in the bathroom and Rei’s focus narrows to a higher panic; was that _his_ pulse pounding? No Ritsu in his bedroom. Rei only begins to falter in the hall, at the large pools of brown blood soaked into his floor.

It smells different, now. The metallic scent is underlined with something savory, a spice. Rei couldn’t stop thinking of what color he saw reflected in Ritsu’s eyes right here. How long had it been?

His throat felt like it was on fire.

“Rei. Do I need to take you to the hospital?”

Rei blinked. Shu was in the hall, living room light illuminating his shape from behind. His heartbeat was no longer so irregular, but it was rapid, a marathon runner’s pulse. Rei breathed and he smelled of honey, or maybe vanilla; sweet and syrupy and _tempting._ “I’m fine Shu. See? I’m not hurt anywhere.”

Shu frowns at that, gently touching Rei’s shoulder. “What about Ritsu? Do I need to call the police? Is he—?”

“ **NO** , god, don’t call the cops, why would you..” _Ritsu tried to kill me,_ Rei thinks with his heart in his dry throat. His voice cracks as his mind tries to catch up to the truth of it all “Everything is fine, Shu. You need to go.”

“Wh-what are you talking about?!” Shu exclaims. “I—I came here to see you and I find you lying in a puddle of your own _blood_ , or is it not yours, God almighty, I thought you were dead!”

“I might be,” Rei says, and laughs even if it’s not funny. He can smell Shu again as he breathes, sweet nectarine wine, _delicious_ , edible, good enough to eat.

“ _What_ was that?” Shu says, grabbing his other shoulder. Rei had an inch of height on him but Shu still dragged him towards the couch, spindly arms and all. “That is enough _messing around,_ Rei Sakuma. This is preposterous behavior, even for you.”

Rei follows where he’s dragged, helpless, breathing deeply like he can maybe satisfy, maybe quench just on smell alone. Shu sits him down and, perched on the seat next to him, says “Let me _help you_ , you utter fool,” and holds Rei in his arms.

Shu will never cease to amaze him, even through the impossible. For a few wonderful moments, Rei lets himself be comforted. He wraps his arms around his friend, trembling with emotion and thirst thirst thirst; It’s bliss. Shu breaks away eventually, eyes glistening with tearful emotion. Rei gazes at every part of him, his worried eyes, his perfectly plucked eyebrows, the softness of his cheek, the deep cupid’s bow of his lips...Shu closes his eyes with a soft sigh, like a surrender and Rei’s heart aches.

Rei experiences the strangest sensation of his canine’s elongating, tipping Shu’s head backwards as he moves. He feels his own heart’s rhythm against Shu’s chest, the syncopation deafening in his ears; a rush of need stabbing through Rei’s blood to the core of his being.

Rei’s teeth tear through the skin of Shu’s neck like a bruise peach. The deacon’s pulse howls in Rei’s ears, and he consumes it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> things get significantly more dubcon? also a POV swap

There were many perks of having bed curtains, no matter how modest ones bedroom space is. Shu, of course, simply enjoyed them out of habit; his grandmother had been fond of her four poster bed, beautiful tapestry curtains atop a lush mattress where she taught his how to sew doilies for tea. Nevertheless, when the few guests he’d hosted for in his home questioned it, there was no need to give way to any deep familial stories; he could simply tell them it was a wonderful convenience to block the midday sun from his windows when he fell (frequently) ill.

Certain moments made him question his choices, not that Shu would necessarily admit it, but there definitely were. Moments like these, waking to his bed shrouded in utter darkness and sore all over as if he’d spent a week lifting the church organ. In the pleasant cocoon of warmth and dark, Shu felt lost to time, as if he had gone from dreaming into a state of deep meditation somehow immediately.

This was, of course, cut short by Rei opening one of the curtains swiftly, holding a cold compress in his hands. He drops the wet cloth onto Shu’s quilted blankets and he feels himself frown instinctively. “Please don’t leave that there.”

Rei's eyes are wide, comically almost if it weren’t for the hesitance and discomfort expressed through them. “How...how are you feeling?” He tries, cautiously.

Shu stretches his arms above his head, looking away from his friend who seems to radiate anxiety. His shoulder pops, and his shirt rubs gently against the bandages at his neck. “I’m all right.” The bandages remind him of what the bed curtains had kept out, what he’d forgotten in the comfortable blank of sleep. His memory comes on the horizon, spilling like sunbeams through clouds, like blood. “You…”

Rei is on the floor, bowing deeply. “Please forgive me.”

Shu’s breath shudders, and he wonders when he became quite so stupid.

 

***

 

“ _R...Rei? Is that you?” Shu asked, in a hoarse whisper. He could scarcely assume it was any other man before him, Rei Sakuma being of a distinctive beauty and breeding. But Shu had just seen his friend lying in a puddle of blood still as the grave, so he would have to later forgive his own obtuse questioning._

_But Rei was here, still covered in eerie red and looking pale. His face seemed gaunt, and his eyes were glazed over...he wouldn’t stop mentioning his brother. Shu tries to school his body’s reactions to the sight and smell of blood with deep breathing, trying not to move too much until he felt stable enough to stand. Rei was suddenly too mobile, running around his apartment and Shu began to panic not having eyes on his, as if he was some vision spirited away from him if not kept in check._

_Shu followed Rei’s frantic movements into his entrance hall. There was still a puddle of blood there, so Shu had to breathe through his mouth but it wasn’t an option to let Rei stay there alone. He still hadn’t the slightest idea what was going on, and Rei continued to reject any logical path of thinking to stare at the gorey carpet, constant, haunted._

_Shu pulled him away, what else could he do? Rei had become precious to him, in only a few months. He was contrary, and ridiculous, and incredibly talented with impeccable taste and social grace to boot; what else could he do but grow close to him? His coworkers found the pair an honorable example of Shu’s faithful acceptance of all peoples of all faiths, a paragon of priestly virtue, but Shu knew God himself saw past that guise. There was nothing virtuous in the way he clung to this shining man, nothing holy in his magnetic attraction to the opposite of that which he upheld. When Rei glanced at his mouth, so close and in his arms, there was no hesitation in his surrender to temptation._ Kiss me _, Shu’s blank, flawed, disgustingly human mind begged._

_When instead, head tilted back and throat elongated, Rei bit deeply into his jugular vein Shu fainted. The shock of unconsciousness only lasted a moment, the chill and the black of it fading fast to a blanketing warmth that covered Shu’s body. His neck throbbed, and Rei’s hair tickled at his face and collarbone as he was attached to it, sucking loud and obscenely. Shu could feel his tongue pressed tight to his skin, before Rei had to pull away to pant, hot and cold air rushing onto Shu’s wounded skin as his tongue licked and licked, lapping like a cat._

_The warm feeling was becoming burning. Shu was sweating, writhing, feverish; he needed relief from this feeling but wouldn’t pass out. His arms were pressed to Rei’s chest, blood soaked shirt clinging to muscle and soft skin and Shu moaned; his writhing became more focused. Rei was sucking at his neck again, but Shu didn’t feel any pain, only stabs of heat in his abdomen like punches in the gut. The sound of Rei licking and biting and sucking at skin should be disgusting, horrifying but Shu focuses on it and tangles a hand in his beautiful hair, pulling Rei even closer. Shu would let him have every part of him, let beautiful Rei kill him if he must if only he’d not stop, stay close to him and let him rut onto his abs the way he was now._

_Rei’s labored panting was letting drool and blood drip into Shu’s collarbones and ruin his dress shirt; it clung to his chest through his own speedy breathing and rubbed against Rei’s. Rei’s hands wandered now, and Shu felt dizzy with the feeling of being needed as much as he needs. Rei moved on him, pressing his lithe form further into the couch and under him as Shu felt tears form in his eyes, his whole body sensitive as a bruise._

_One of Rei’s hands trailed from Shu’s waist to his chest, cupping and scratching where his heartbeat under the skin as if he could hold it as he held the slender man. Shu would let him, Shu would give Rei his heart without thought or remorse in this moment of white hot connection Between them as he felt Rei pant his name. “_ Shu _,” he said, and dragged his nails up Shu’s chest to rip fabric and raise welts._

_“_ Shu _,” he said again, and Shu answered with a shudder, a gasp. Rei’s hand dragged higher, higher still, slender fingers with a violinist’s grace trailed the side of Shu’s neck untorn, gentle. His fingertips ran along Shu’s lips rhythmically, light as a feather then firmer, pushing the plump of his bottom lip from his teeth as Shu moaned. Rei bit into him once more as his fingers plunged into the softness of Shu’s mouth, and Shu could think of nothing more staggeringly intimate than tasting Rei on his tongue. It made his toes curl, he hated having anything in his mouth but this was not_ anything _this was_ Rei _, beautiful, incredible, indescribable, so he licked at the digits enthusiastically, tasting the salt of his skin. Rei shuddered above him, crotch digging into Shu’s thigh as he grinded against him._

_Rei arched his back and let out a low noise, bloody mouth open and glistening like a ruby. Shu thought it shouldn’t be possible to look so angelic like this, it shouldn’t look so_ right _, but Rei loved to prove him wrong. Rei’s eyes focus on him, a warm burgundy ring around dilated pupils, and he thrust his fingers deeper into Shu’s mouth. Shu moaned, still burning. Rei was a star, cosmic and inconceivable, no mortal man should have him as close as Shu does right now, as Rei leans down and pulls his mouth open with his spit-slick fingers. Rei opens his own mouth wide, tonguing at where Shu lays bare, slick blood dripping from his mouth into Shu’s and it should be wrong but there’s nothing wrong about Rei Sakuma. Rei’s tongue meets his own, as Shu whimpers and a sudden wave of ecstasy overtakes. His eyes roll back as his body tenses, fantastically, alive with pleasure and Rei is still kissing him when he finally, solidly loses himself to the deep ether of unconsciousness._

And awakens here, in his bed, with Rei bowing in apology on his bedroom floor.

“ _Mon dieu_ , what sort of creature have you become?” Shu says without thought, curling in on himself with a hand pressed to the bandages at his neck. He could hear Rei getting up, but before the other man said anything in reply the panic sets in. Rei had effectively, torn his throat out like a mad dog. Before Shu thought anything of it, he was up and walking from his room into his study, locking the door behind him.

His study was where Shu kept the projects he worked on at home. Fabrics organized in the corner next to his sewing table, books for study in the other, there was a single pedestal near the window where he let the doll rest—Mademoiselle. She was a comfort that therapists warned against and friends scorned, but speaking with his Mademoiselle seemed much less insane that what the rest of his life looked like right now.

He grabbed her by the waist gently, and let the base of her legs rest in his right hand with a sigh. “Oh, Mademoiselle, it has been too long since i’ve sewn you a new dress. You should see the velvet I found the other week, it is too exquisite for you to not own!”

“Oh, Shu-kun does spoil me! But I know Shu doesn’t wish to talk about fabric right now, you can tell Mademoiselle what is troubling you~.”

Shu falters, even in this. Mademoiselle would never judge him, she has always listened when no one else could, when his prayers fell short. Still, there was a hesitance before he admitted. “I’m afraid my friend may be...i’m not sure he’s. Good for me. Mademoiselle, how does one tell if someone has become a demon?”

Mademoiselle, to her credit, simply giggled at this admission. “My, my! what a question to ask of a woman...isn’t it Shu-kun who wishes to be Father Itsuki someday soon?”

“Well, yes, but I know as a man of God that I will not have all the answers simply because He does…”

“Yes, but don’t you think He’d tell you if your friend was someone so bad? Surely you don’t think God would test you like that, after you’ve given Him so much love.” she asks, and Shu sighs as he pets her curly hair.

“Ah, Mademoiselle, I wish I could say I didn’t think that. But, this friend...he reminds me of when I was young, somehow. Of...Nito.” he admits through gritted teeth. Unpleasant memory upon unpleasant memory.

Mademoiselle lays a porcelain hand on him in comfort. “Now, now. Nazuna-kun was a lovely friend, why would that be a problem?”

“You remember, I’m sure,” Shu says, still tense. “How I ruined it. I thought Rei would be different...he’s the opposite of what Nito was, he’s. He’s very tall.”

Mademoiselle commented politely, “Nito may be tall today, Shu-kun. Is it his height that seems so against God he’s demonic?”

Shu huffs as she teases him, but it does make him feel better about the impossibility before him “No! He’s just. Well, he bit me. At the throat.”

“...Oh my, how forward.”

“And drank my blood.” Shu added, with a flush face. “What of God’s creatures would do that?”

“Well there are several animals who do...did God not make those?” Mademoiselle says. “Do men not eat the flesh of those animals, their blood is the meat you eat…”

Shu shook his head, placing her on her pedestal gently and sighing. “But man should not eat man, Mademoiselle. Your innocent perspective has comforted me, nevertheless. No matter the circumstance, you are endlessly lovely.”

Mademoiselle smiles at him, as she always does. “Shu-kun worries too much...if he’s a friend as you say, I think it’s wonderful you are close, _non_? If he does not hurt you, and you care for him, what matters of his diet? Be good now, Shu-kun.”

“Through God’s grace I will, Mademoiselle.” Shu tells her, melancholy, “I will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks, as always to Ana for beta reading this for me! Shu, in every universe, has a mad gay crush on Nazuna and fails spectacularly at not smothering him with expectations and neuroticism :-) poor Shu!  
> a gift for Peach, who by some miracle of fate enjoys my writing as well as my company.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oh you thought this didn’t have angst? it has angst. sorry?

Shu had been in the other room for about an hour before Rei heard the door opening. Rei was unsure about what to do when Shu ran off, if it were any other situation he’d have just left his apartment and tried to forget the whole thing but. This wasn’t like any situation he’d ever been in, of course. Rei found himself as a vampire.

He’d be remiss to lie and say he did the things he did the night previous in a trance. Rei wasn’t above lying to himself about certain things, but almost killing his closest friend and then almost  _ fucking _ his closest friend isn’t one of them, as this truth was too big to be held back. Hours before, he’d realized kissing Shu (the thought still brought a flush to his face somehow) that the deacon had lost consciousness; and his better judgement had reared its ugly head, horrified. At first Rei honestly thought Shu was dead, there was  _ so _ much blood and he had kept drinking, kept biting...But after a terrifying moments inspection, he found Shu breathing deeply in sleep and in full possession of his life.

Rei checked his teeth, they didn’t seem any sharper. He checked his pulse (ignoring that somehow he could feel it without touching Shu even now), it didn’t seem weak. He was resolute in dragging them both covered in blood and cum to the hospital nearby before he noticed how Shu’s neck hardly looked torn open at all. There were three or four tiny dots, and a large amount of deep red-purple bruises but no torn skin; no bleeding. 

Rei almost found himself praising god, but then thought better of it. God probably wouldn’t want to hear from his kind.

Sick with worry about what would happen when Shu woke up, he changed them both into clean clothes and called a private cab. He remembered Shu’s address so with his bag in tow, he simply let them both in and set him down to rest. Then, it was a matter of waiting. Waiting, worrying, and blowing up his little brother’s phone (Ritsu still hadn’t answered, and it had been  _ hours _ ).

Shu leaves his study, and Rei feels dread fall into the pit of his stomach. He could (somehow) hear Shu talking in there, to (himself) one of his dolls; slightly muffled french and english wondering if he had become some sort of demon, or devil. Rei wasn’t sure he could say he wasn’t one; everyone knew vampires were some b-movie monsters who killed and seduced and then inevitably fell to damnation. Shu didn’t come back into the bedroom where Rei sat on his floor immediately, he heard him instead enter the bathroom, slamming the door with a click of the lock.

Rei ignored the shuffling of clothes and the sound of Shu relieving himself by checking his phone again. His mind could hardly comprehend Shu, whom he’d only known for half a year at most, so he found himself oddly numb in dialing the number of his dear precious brother, known to him nearly all his life. The dial tone answered him, grating for a minute or two until reaching Ritsu’s automated voicemail. Rei wasn’t going to leave him a voicemail, and finally he stood. Shu wasn’t going to speak to him, so he was going to find his little brother instead, and find who did this to him and  _ rip him to shreds— _

Shu had entered the room while Rei was distracted by his phone. Their eyes locked, Rei’s wide and Shu’s narrowed. His sleep shirt was open wide at the collar, displaying his neck with light yellowed bruises littering it. Shu points to the bruises as if Rei was looking anywhere else and says “How is this possible?! There isn’t a scratch on me.”

Rei blinks at him, owlish in shock. “It...must have healed even more than before. When you, uh, passed out you had stopped bleeding entirely.”

“Christ almighty in heaven, grant me your grace with which to understand…” Shu murmurs into his hand before sitting roughly on a chair near his window. Rei could empathize with that feeling. Shu took a deep breath he could more see than hear and asked: “Rei Sakuma, have you always been a vampire?” 

“ _ What _ ? Fuck no,” Rei said, surprised. “You think you wouldn’t notice if I had fangs and shit after all this time we’ve spent together?”

Shu raised his chin, looking down his nose. “Please, don’t think me  _ daft _ ...I’m not sure I would have cared to notice, seeing as how I thought them a fiction until this very moment. Then…” His gaze softened, pitying “Were you attacked? Is that why, when I found you..?”

“No—Well, yes but not,” Rei let out a frustrated sigh. He couldn’t look Shu in the eye, knowing his own were now unnatural, deep red. “Ritsu came to my flat after being out at some campy party. He was wearing a costume, so I didn’t think anything of the blood. I figured it was fake, but he was basically  _ catatonic _ , Shu. I was trying to help him into the shower when he bit me. I was…”  _ Dead _ , but Rei couldn’t say that, “I woke up next thing to you screaming. I couldn’t even remember what happened until I found the pool of my own blood in the hall.”

“Is that why you were talking about Ritsu? He…” Shu visibly shook, wrapping his arms around himself. “He did this to you.”

“Someone did this to  _ him first. _ ” Rei added with malice. “Some  _ monster _ had left him bleeding all over himself to stumble to my home. And then I— _ fuck _ .” Was he crying? Rei rubbed at his cheek, cold and wet. “I’m so sorry…”

“Ritsu killed you.” Shu said, with a tremble in his voice. “You were dead when I found you. Your door was wide open when I arrived, I thought you’d been robbed or—“

Rei’s face felt hot, and he snapped “ **Ritsu** was a victim here! He didn’t understand what would happen, couldn’t possibly understand all this unknowable  _ bullshit _ —“ 

“ Woe to them! For they go the way of Cain, and abandon themselves to Balaam’s error for the sake of gain …” Shu murmured under Rei’s raised voice, Rei was a friend but he was  _ yelling  _ Shu couldn’t  _ stand _ a raised voice and he clenched his eyes shut.

Rei stopped short at Shu’s whispering under his breath, red eyes piercing the anxious way the man curled in on himself. “ _ Cain _ ? am I some pathetic martyr to you now, Shu? I may be a monster now but I am very much  _ alive _ .” In a bout of frustration, Rei grabs one of Shu’s hands and places it over his heart. Shu’s eyes meet his own,  _ frightened _ . “I’m no Abel, Shu. Do you feel that? My heart beats in half time. My body temperature hasn’t gone higher than  _ 24 degrees _ since last night. Being in the sun  _ hurts _ —I’m not some man of god slighted by his brother I’m a  _ creature _ hardly hanging onto life and I—“ Rei releases his trembling hand and closes his own eyes; there was no more of Shu’s fear he could handle. 

“I hurt you. So much more than physically; so I know you want to find someone else to blame through your kindness, but I don’t deserve your good graces. It was me, not Cain, nor Ritsu, nor your god.” Rei spat the last word, and took a deep shuddering breath. “I’m sorry, but I won’t abandon my sins on the backs of my family.”

Rei walked through Shu’s bedroom door, intent to leave and never come back. Something in his chest made him pause in the hall and turn back to Shu one last time. “Thank you,” Rei said plainly “For trying to save my life.”

 

***

 

There was nothing that split your brain from your body quite like riding the tube after screaming at your closest friend for blaming your death on your brother. Or, Rei considered, possibly this is how it was being a vampire. He was practically out of body, head pounding like a drum from his walk in the afternoon sun to the station even now, a good 20 minutes later as the train sped through its underground tunnels. Next to him was an group of elderly businessmen talking adamantly about the next election, squished besides the secondary school children heading home with their parents. Rei had no idea if his brother was all right, if he was  _ dead _ , or if he had killed more than just him. Would he hear about Ritsu on the evening news, before hearing from him? How many could a vampire have hurt in half a day? Rei let himself wonder, as some school girls giggled at something on their smartphones and he winced. Everything seemed to be too  _ loud _ ; smells, sounds, tastes. His ears were starting to ache and Rei was sure it wasn’t helping the headache.

_ Mind the gap _ , the announcements boomed helpfully supplied through speakers.

Rei’s flat wasn’t a far walk from the station. He walked up grime-covered steps, tapping his oyster card at the exit and now thinking of how he could have murdered Shu last night. Shu could be dead, with no explanation and no suspect other than himself. 

How had his problems gone from finding a new source for his thesis paper to whether or not Ritsu and Shu were going to die? Rei swiped his tongue across a knife-sharp canine and thought  _ right, that’s how _ .

Rei let himself into his apartment building, glad to be out of the sun. It was winter and overcast, but his skin seemed to  _ ache _ and his body felt lethargic being outside; he hoped Ritsu was alive, well, and  _ indoors _ . As he approached his flat, he could hear something from inside; Rei froze.

It sounded like...footsteps, two people. One was crying; one pulse fast and the other eerily slow. Rei nearly tore the knob from his door, but found it unlocked and threw it open. Running in, Rei’s eyes focused on a head of light blue hair.

Hajime looks at him with comical shock before he _feels_ rather than sees Ritsu barrel into his chest, knocking him on his back. “Onii-chan!”

The wind is knocked out of his lungs and Ritsu is crying all over his shirt, messy and snotty but the tackling hug seemed to knock Rei’s mind back into his body; He lets out a wheezing, relieved laugh and pulls his little brother close to kiss his tear stained cheeks. “Ritsu! You’re all right!”

Ritsu sobs as a response, face scrunched adorably in tears. Rei can see the glint of fangs in his mouth and gives his brothers forehead a loud  _ smooch _ . “Ritsu, shhh, it’s okay I’m home now! Onii-chan is so happy to see you…” 

“ _ Stupid _ , Anija, I t-thought I..” Ritsu stuttered, pushing Rei’s face away from his before he could land another affectionate peck. He wiped at his wet cheeks and hiccuped, and Rei had never been happier. “I thought you were dead, how...where did you  _ go _ ?! Hajime and I have been here  _ hours _ …”

“I didn’t think much better for you, Ritsu!” Rei admitted through teary eyes. “When I came to, you were gone, I was so worried I  _ could _ have died.”

At this Ritsu gives him a cold look, sitting them both up from the floor. “It’s not funny, Onii-chan. After I drank from you, you...stopped breathing.” Ritsu sniffed, but didn’t break off too long. “I couldn’t exactly put your blood back so I tried to give you some of mine, but your mouth kept closing and it hurt where I cut myself and,” He began breathing in gasps, tears falling fresh and Rei touched his shoulder, reminding him I’m still here. 

Hajime, all but forgotten by Rei in the joy of finding his brother all right, knelt down beside the two and put his hand on Ritsu’s other shoulder. “Ritsu had lost too much blood, by the time he came to me.” Hajime says, and Ritsu rubs at his eyes once again. “He really thought he killed you Sakuma-senpai,” Rei gave Hajime his attention, his full attention for the first time. Did Ritsu..? Rei glances down at Hajime’s neck, and sees light discoloration near his collarbone. “I’m glad to see you in one piece.”

“Thank you, Shino-san...are you also…?” Rei started cautiously, there was nothing more awkward than saying the word “vampire” aloud and meaning it seriously.

“He’s my boyfriend now.” Ritsu says suddenly, and Hajime lets go of his shoulder immediately with a red face. “Ritsu! Y-you can’t just!” he gestures wildly about the room, and Rei could practically taste his discomfort. “Think of your brothers feelings,”

Ritsu simply leaned back into the other man with a devilish grin, like he hadn't just been crying moments before, saying “Hajime-kun isn’t a vampire though, Onii-chan. I think my blood did that to you; it’s what did it to me, anyway.”

“Ah, Ritsu...don’t get me wrong i’d love to hear more about how you and Shino became... _ partners _ ,” Rei said with a pointed look at Hajime, who was looking suddenly very pale, “But who turned you? Do you know anything about them? I mean, what  _ happened _ at that club you went to?”

“Hm~ good deflection, Onii-chan. It’s a long story.” Ritsu admits, standing. “Let’s have tea and I’ll tell you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Bible verse Shu quotes is from Jude 1:11 and yes i pulled a real fucking bible verse for this fic. I have 0 chill.  
> Sometimes when people you love hurt you, you look for any excuse to make it seem like it was someone else’s fault, huh? Sorry if this cuts off at an awkward place, I just knew if I got into everything else this chapter would be soooo long.  
> Anyway, thanks for reading! Biggest thanks to Ana of course for betaing. And thanks to Peach, for introducing me to enstars and also for being born!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rei has a lot of talks with Ritsu and his new beau, Hajime; and things are significantly more Priestly in the Priest AU

Rei was delighted to find vampires could still drink coffee. He was trying  _ very hard _ to be delighted that Hajime and his little brother were dating (beginning last night, when Ritsu bit him, and if it were anything like when he bit Shu  _ then… _ ) Rei decided to distract himself from that train of thought so he wouldn’t commit homicide. Or suicide. He was  _ full _ of bad ideas today, so he stopped glaring at Hajime to instead focus on Ritsu, beautiful perfectly  _ alive _ Ritsu who he loved. “Why did you never answer any of my calls, Ritsu?” Rei whined to him, pouting. “Onii-chan used his accursed smartphone so much to see if you were safe…and you never picked up!”

Hajime, to his credit, did not make eye contact with Rei as Ritsu stirred honey into his tea. Best not to provoke the newly christened vampire, who most definitely knew far too much about what probably happened between them last night. Ritsu sighed, “I lost my phone at the night club, I haven’t seen it since last night...That’s why I just came back to your place with Hajime, I had no way to contact you otherwise.”

A pause, and Ritsu frowned, waving a hand in front of Rei’s face. “Also stop glaring at him, Onii-chan, I’m going to tell you how I got turned into a vampire! I’m not gonna repeat myself.”

Rei straightened his spine, caught in the act. “Ah! so sorry, sorry Ritsu! Please tell me everything, Onii-chan won’t look away for even a second.”

His little brother rolled his eyes, but his cheeks colored like he was pleased anyway. After a sip of tea, Ritsu began: “You know how our University is old and kind of creepy?”

Rei raises an eyebrow, and makes the educated guess that was a rhetorical question. Ritsu nods “Yeah, kind of hard to miss. So a few weeks back, I had to go into the library archives to find some sheet music, and there’s the section on the basement level, right? It seemed like an ideal place to nap between classes, so I went back there a few times...There’s a section of old shitty books about the occult; like Van Helsing it’s all witches and demons and stuff that no one reads anymore, and it’s temperature and light controlled so it’s perfect for sleeping~” 

“Anyway that’s where I found the flyer for this dumb goth night at the club I went to yesterday. It was a,” Ritsu paused to roll his eyes, “ _ Nightmare Before Christmas  _ kind of thing; everyone wearing spooky costumes because they’re too hardcore to be slutty santas like everyone else I guess. There was an  _ obscene  _ amount of people dressed like vampires before you ask, and I highly doubt they were all the real deal, Onii-chan.”

“Maybe there’s some kind of cult coming out of our uni though?” Rei asked suspiciously. “How else would you accidentally stumble upon a  _ real vampire _ at a fancy dress party? Maybe they lure innocents from the library who go into those books…”

Ritsu shook his head, resolute. “That sounds dumb; the guy probably just thought it was the perfect cover party for him to do real vampire things at—and let me  _ finish _ . He wasn’t even dressed like Dracula or anything...he actually kind of looked like the Phantom of the Opera.” Rei frowned as Ritsu’s expression becomes lascivious, smirking. “I just figured he was a hot dude to snog at a party. It’s kind of hard to explain it anyway else...though I guess he’d been planning to suck my blood the whole time.”

There was a long pause to the exposition, Ritsu staring off into space before blinking. His eyes met Rei’s with complex emotion fitting on his handsome features. “I need you to not freak out, okay? I was gonna go home with this guy and fool around, but he pulled me aside to fool around back ‘round the club...he bit me there. Nothing horrible happened other than that, and me freaking out and smashing my chin into his nose. He was bleeding a lot, Onii-chan, so don’t worry I can take care of myself.” Ritsu layed a cool, soft hand upon Rei’s own to ease his worry, as if Rei would run off and kill the man himself (he  _ would _ , but he wouldn’t interrupt Ritsu being so genuine to do it).

“I guess that’s how I got turned instead of bleeding out~. His blood got in my mouth while I clashed with him, then he disappeared and the next thing I remember is being here with you, in your flat.”

Rei let out a deep breath through the nose and threaded his fingers with his brothers. “I’m so glad you’re safe, even now.”

Ritsu smiled at him, like an angel; Rei knew he would never betray him (like Shu accused; there was no one or blame for that but his heart still aches when his friend came to mind this way). “I know.”

 

***

As within any period of trauma or strife, the Sakuma brother’s stuck to each other’s sides like glue. With the hardy help of monetary influence and the winter break time on their hands, Rei and Ritsu gathered what they two would need to adjust to living in entirely new biologies.

Ritsu bribes a blood bank for food supplies while Rei bought them very effective parasols and large supplies of sunscreen; Hajime, ever diligent and servicing, tried to read up on anything that may be useful for vampires to know. 

“Do you think we’re immortal now, Onii-chan? I wanna do something life threatening and survive for fun, if it’s not too much effort.” Ritsu asked one day, while stocking Rei’s fridge with blood bags of AB negative.

Rei was installing blackout curtains and nearly fell off his step ladder. “Ah, Ritsu that sounds like a terrible idea! Please think of me before you hurt yourself to test your limits…”

Rei could feel rather than see Ritsu roll his eyes. “But don’t you want to  _ know _ ? Hajime hasn’t found anything in his research yet and I want to understand my body! I already  _ feel _ stronger, and we drink blood...whose to say we can even die normally now?”

“I want to know as much as the next vampire, I’m sure.” Rei joked wryly, “But all good things to those who wait! I’m sure we’ll know more about our condition soon.”

Soon was relative, as the next semester took hold in early January. Rei was thrust back into his lectures with a fury, and only a few classmates commented on his “new style” of parasols on sunny days and red eye “contacts”. His took his courses later in the day, when he could stand to be awake and paying attention (as his body had become nearly nocturnal in the few weeks since he’d been bitten). Night courses also had the perk of affording him easy avoidance of a certain deacon, not that Rei admitted it aloud.

Hajime and Ritsu had taken to coming to his flat every other night to have tea and just be there. Rei let them coddle him with company; it wasn’t often that Ritsu was outward with his concern for his brother in any way that wasn’t violent. Hajime was growing on him again, even if Ritsu seemed to be constantly covering the pale man in angry bites at his artery points that made Rei’s blood pressure rise.

One such night, Hajime and Ritsu were both late to his place by an hour and Rei unfortunately, tiredly, assumes foul play of a sexual nature on Ritsu’s part. He was about to place a very irritated call when Hajime burst through his front door with more enthusiasm than he’d thought the boy capable of, a grinning Ritsu following close behind. 

“Sakuma-senpai! We have great news!” Hajime exclaims while carrying an obnoxious amount of papers under his arms. “I think Ritsu and I have found some real, useful information on vampires for you both!”

Rei raised an eyebrow at the two grinning at him like school children and found the excitement was contagious. “Well? Let’s see it then, Shino-san no need to keep an old man waiting.”

“You’re not even old, Anija,” Ritsu refuted, but was still smiling.

“Ah, but your youthful energy ages me, Ritsu!” Rei says, leaning heavily on his brother as he sits down at his dining room table. “You’re going to need to guide me through it all, I’ve lost the exuberance of my youth~.”

“Ugh, stop being a pest and be proud of me already, idiot!” Ritsu swatted him away, pouting. “ _ I’m _ the one who thought to look in the creepy book archive where I found the party flier.”

“Oh?” Rei replies, glancing from Ritsu to Hajime, who sets up what looks like dozens of scanned pages of old handwritten books. Rei pats his little brothers head and coos “Good boy, good boy~! Onii-chan always believed in you, Ritsu~!”

As Ritsu makes gagging sounds and tries to push his brother away, Hajime lets out a laugh, then clears his throat. “Ritsu really did have a great idea. These books seem to have as accurate a depiction of the both of your transformations as I’ve read so far! Down to the finer details.”

“Oh? So nothing else has said anything about drinking another vampire’s blood to become one?” Rei asks after a few failed attempts at smothering his adorable brother in his arms. 

“Ah,” Hajime’s smile morphed into the one Rei had learned to me “politely avoiding the answer for my own sanity” and he smirked at him “It was more of...something like, ah—“

“How we both got really horny and drank a loooot from the first people we met.” Ritsu supplies happily, continuing. “And how they miraculously healed and didn’t die from it. Hey, did you know there’s some kind of  _ magic _ in our fangs apparently? How cool…”

“Ah,” Rei says with a sour face. It’s not  _ great _ to be reminded that Ritsu left him and ravished his friend (boyfriend) immediately afterward, and it’s  _ especially  _ not great to remember he most definitely ravished Itsuki Shu on his couch about a month prior. “Well I suppose that’s too specific to overlook as a good source then.”

“There were multiple books written by the same authors in the archive as well,” Hajime supplies, looking happily for a change of subject. “I’m hoping there’s a lot more we can learn to make both of your lives easier! It was really a blessing to find these…”

Rei smiles at Hajime, though it fails to reach his eyes. Blessing isn’t a word he’d have used for their situation, but with his little brother and a person he could dare call a friend having his back even now, well...Rei Sakuma could believe himself lucky.

 

***

 

The human mind is a fallible, but functional machine. The body itself, as one is taught, is simply the vessel for the spirit God granted humankind upon their creation; a means by which to grow and relate to one another. Truly, biology was simply a hindrance to the higher spiritual pursuits of the soul, and no one would know it better than a sickly man like Shu. Even when his body betrayed him in poor weather, even when his mind set to become the enemy of his faith and spirit as well as his being, Shu knew that the temptations of the flesh were part of His plan. For truly, the most unwavering faith and beauty came born out of the filth of human existence by contrast; a diamond in the rough shines brighter than one doused in glittering metals.

After the trial of Rei’s coming and going from his life like a whirlwind, Shu took to what he knew best. Each morning, he would awake to take his rosary and kneel in the cool winter sunrise to pray. The rosary had to be completed in japanese, english, french, and latin; the meditation and repetition put his mind in the place he needed it to be for the day. Shu threw himself into his choral works, as well as his participation in mass. His bishop did not find it strange; after all, Shu was always a perfectionist thrown into whims and his residence as a deacon was reaching upwards of 8 months. Surely a little extra focus would not hurt, and in fact it did not: his boys continued to soar and excel to new heights of vocal performance, and his congregation complimented the serene countenance of his sermon each week. 

Shu felt entirely in his place, letting the rainbow light of stained glass windows illuminate his grandmother’s bible before each mass. The church from his childhood had been a small affair, with small windows and smaller pews he’d shuffle into with his family; after completing his undergraduate and moving overseas truly, he’d never anticipated feeling at ease in the grand old cathedrals of Europe...but a simple reminder, a token from his roots was all it had taken for Shu’s faith to soar through the vaulted stone ceilings. He saw each notch in the wooden structure of the pulpit as old friends, every scuff on every marble pillar a charming conversation piece. There was a familiarity to the air in every place of faith if one were to observe hard enough; something in the way the dust floats onto velvet seat cushions. And if there were non-familiarities, like Hajime’s concerned gaze during choral practice, or the strange bruises his student hid with high collars, or the constant red of Ritsu Sakuma’s eyes following Shu as he walked away each afternoon with said student, well. The familiar air of the chapel and his practice rooms would soon rectify any disconcerting weakness of the mind.

That familiarity had kept Shu Itsuki sane for quite some time; he’d be remiss to not count his blessing and thank God for this design. 

About a month and a half into the winter semester, just as the hope of spring brought a strange color to the grass, his bishop offered Shu his next rank in the Holy Orders. Shu felt an elation of spirit, and accepted graciously.

He was to be the only deacon to step into priesthood, during this Holy Mass. The older priests chattered about and smothered him in praise, in attention, and somehow Shu did not let it overwhelm him; this was what he had worked for, after all. 

He practiced secretly at home, what face he’d make in the mirror, the way he’d bow his head as the Bishop touched him. Shu made sure he had the perfect manner of lying prostrate in robes, of course, as he composed an arrangement of The Litany Of Saints with trembling fingers.

As it was proclaimed in its traditional Latin during the Rite of Ordination, Shu could hear in the echo of his mind the choir singing it aloud; though of course they wouldn’t dare. Shu did not teach this arrangement; and who would conduct them in not Shu, after all? This flight of fancy does not last; the ceremony is spent in a state of mind close to that of deep meditation. He was certainly aware of himself during the sacrament, but all Shu truly recalls later is the litany, the smile of his bishop, and the aroma wafting from his hands as they were anointed. His hands, ever creators, ever his most useful tools, now the means with which he could reach into faith and hold divinity.

At the end of mass Shu sees himself reflected in a holy water font; he observes the sheen of pink at his cheeks. The simple observation of himself working through a sweat brings him back to the vessel of his body, and he breathes deeply.

Mass had tired him out more than usual this time, of course, but Shu—Father Itsuki now—was not the kind to back down from responsibility. Stepping into the confessional booth discreetly, he closed his eyes and recited the Lord’s prayer.

The door opened, and through the grate at his stomach level, Father Itsuki sees a tall figure kneel before shutting the booth gently behind him. 

A familiar baritone implored him: “Forgive me father, for I have sinned.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PHEW there sure is a lot of Catholicism in this fic!
> 
> SO a few things: the Sacrament of the Holy Orders is what becoming a priest is referred to as in the Catholic faith. The Rite of Ordination is the actual term for like, the thing that happens during mass where the priests lie on the ground then take a knee and have their heads touched by a bishop? then they're handed cool new robe pieces and their hands are anointed with holy water, which I find wonderfully romantic.  
> The Litany Of Saints is a traditional, long form poem said during the whole process as well as in other sacraments; the whole thing is on wikipedia in english and latin if you're curious!
> 
> Anyway this chapter wasn't beta'd but is still brought to you by my precious friend ana, and their unwavering support of my writing.   
> If y'all like this stuff and also enjoy like, porn drawings, I have at twitter @sweatygoblinboy please talk to me about Reishu!
> 
> As always, a gift for Peach, who has cursed me to this rarepair hell where I will die.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rei is a fan of poetic justice, Shu is a fan of god and also jesus. Have some fake vampire mythos!

Trial after trial;  _ vexation _ after elation. One must suppose satisfaction isn’t part of God’s plan for him; Shu’s stomach clenches in on itself and the muscle quivers. He does the sign of the cross, and Rei Sakuma laughs across the screen between them.

“I’m afraid I’ve never done this before, Father. I’m operating on what I know from my very early childhood, and bad action movies to be frank.” Shu breathes deeply to keep calm, but a stab of dread still makes it way into his gut. If he speaks, will Rei know it’s him? Has Rei come simply to mock, to  _ torment _ , to reject him?

At the very least, he now knew vampires would not burst into flames on holy ground. “Be not afraid, my child, for all is apparent unto the Lord. Tell me in your own terms what sins you wish to confess.” Shu says, putting on an air of serenity he did not feel as his heart thudded in his rib cage.

“Well, Father, where to begin?” Rei sighs, forehead tapping gently onto the wall separating them. “I’ve wounded a dear friend in a way that’s...irreparable. Monstrous, I think; nothing but  _ divinity _ could help me there. I’ve been unable to face him since, and...I didn’t think I’d feel his absence so keenly but I  _ do _ .” he paused before laughing again, though it sounded like there wasn’t much humor in it. “Priests are sworn to secrecy are they not? I feel the point of this is to be honest, so I should point out he... _ attends _ this church, you could say. It seemed like before I’m to ever face him, I should try to repent the way he would.”

“Does that sort of ridiculous notion have any space in a bastard’s life? I suppose even villains are allowed their poetic refrains. I took advantage of him in a moment of idiocy, entirely  _ lucid _ idiocy.”

A pause, and as Shu’s breathing becomes more normal (Rei didn’t know it was him,  _ Praise be to God _ ,) Rei’s becomes upset. “What sort of beast thinks it fit to take the trust of another man and pervert it with his own lust? I’m a idiot who has a cock for a brain. A gay, Atheistic idiot by the way, if you want to add those sins to the list while I’m here speaking with you.”

“I need to reach out to him and explain that...even though I’m entirely to blame, he needs to  _ know _ ...well. That’s not a sin and might be cause for you to call a psychiatric hospital, holy orders or no so I suppose I will speak to him when I muster up the courage. I ask for forgiveness from your god, from  _ his _ god, for soiling him in a way I can’t take back and I…” Rei’s voice dips into a low whisper, Shu feels a shiver down his spine, “I don’t want to take back.” 

“Even if it makes me more monster than man, I wouldn’t take back the kiss I gave at least. Even if he deserved better; I suppose I’d like to be forgiven that selfishness, too.”

Rei takes a deep breath that sounds congested, sniffling, and pauses a long while. “Just give me the full cleanse, Father.” he adds finally, as if ordering a spa treatment before letting out a wet laugh.

Shu releases a huff of breath but doesn’t laugh, he couldn’t  _ laugh _ he wasn’t Shu right now, he was  _ Father Itsuki, _ and so he did the sign of the cross with his newly anointed hands. “Let me guide you in a prayer of contrition...repeat after me.”

_ “Lord have mercy on me,” _

“Lord have mercy on me,”

_ “Do not look upon my sins,” _

“Do not look upon my sins,”

_ “But take away my guilt,” _

“But take away my guilt,”

_ “Create in me a clean heart,” _

“Create in me a clean heart,”

_ “And renew me with an upright spirit,” _

“And renew me with an upright spirit,”

_ “Amen.” _

“Amen.”

“Give praise to the Lord for he is good.” Father Itsuki states. “You may respond ‘for his mercy endures forever.’”

Rei, after a pause, repeats the phrasing. Father Itsuki breathes in and says “The Lord has freed you of your sins. Go in peace.”

He hears rather than sees Rei shuffle to his feet and open the door gently, as he has closed his eyes. “Praise be to God,” Father Itsuki adds in Rei’s place, because naturally he didn’t know to say it before exiting confession. As the booth door closes, Shu allows himself a moment’s vulnerability and clutches his chest;  _ Praise be to God. _

 

***

 

Confession felt good; much in the way going back home for a weekend feels good, Rei guesses. He had attended church as a young child, sure, but never got to the communion-and-confession part before he began to resent the commitment and stopped; it was a familiar enough ritual but he was still a tourist to his own vague memories. So he was satisfied with some brief taste, even if he was sort of uncomfortable. 

Rei had arrived to the cathedral at the end of mass, crowd scattering and robed ministry clearing the pulpit of the implements they used during the service. He’d admit to missing the actual service so he would be sure to avoid a certain deacon, of course; Rei may have supernatural strength now but he still found limits to his bravery. 

It just felt like the right thing to do, to speak to an anonymous priest in the chapel where Shu undoubtedly had before him. Even if it was awkward, and weird, and sort of more old fashioned than he had anticipated. As he exited the booth feeling both rejuvenated and embarrassed, he made eye contact with Hajime and a few of the choir students and waved. He’d have to explain that later, if the shy man felt the need to ask. Rei doubted he would though, as lately there were more interesting things to discuss.

Their study sessions with vampire lore were spread out recently due to coursework; but Rei and Hajime both were readers in their free time, so they found ways to keep looking into things. The writing was old, and smudgy, and sometimes in Latin but they had found out a few useful things from the texts already:

One, that a bite doesn’t make a vampire; but one must be partially to fully drained on blood, before ingesting the blood of one for “transmogrification” to occur.

“I wonder at the science of vampire ‘blood’...maybe it’s some sort of parasitic bacteria? Growing exponentially to fill the old veins and arteries previously taken up via human blood…” Rei mused at Hajime, one afternoon over lunch.

Hajime was taking notes, but nodded politely instead of looking up, “It'd be a hard tell, as none of us are scientists of any sort and couldn’t test it...and when these texts were written, well.” The man glanced up with a friendly smile, “These priests knew about  _ vampires, _ but they didn’t know about  _ germs. _ ”

(Hajime was definitely growing on Rei.)

Two, that vampires can consume food regularly, but only gain nutrition from the blood of humans. Before reading about that Ritsu had definitely attempted to drink Rei’s blood at least once ( _ “For fun, Onii-chan~!” _ ) and made himself sick in the bathroom almost immediately after. Ever since his vampiric awakening, Rei  _ did _ crave italian food an awful lot and found himself grateful he could eat it with no repercussions, even if there was no nutritional value.

And finally, that vampires created Thralls. This wasn’t information Rei found, but Hajime and Ritsu, and they didn’t seem keen to share it for a while. Rei thought there was something Hajime was hiding (poor boy had the worst poker face), but thought it might have something to do with his relationship with Rei’s younger brother and not,  _ well _ , vampire-human blood pacts.

“So Hajime’s my Thrall, yeah?” Ritsu stated simply one day. “Because we performed this...magic bonding ceremony accidentally, on the night I was turned.”

“You...you performed a magic, vampiric ritual on accident…? On the night you nearly died.” Rei answered, feeling somehow exhausted by the brainwork of wrapping his head around the concept already.

“Ah, senpai, it was more like…” Hajime adds, a shy muttering. “It’s not something we did  _ accidentally  _ per say?”

“Here, Hajime wrote a list of what happens, cause he’s nervous.” Ritsu drawls, teasingly. He unfolds a piece of paper on the table and recites what is written: “‘To create a thrall, a vampire must first find a human of some connection to themselves, who is willing to help said vampire. The vampire then feeds from the human, from a major artery’ hmm hmm hmmm…’The bond is secured with an act of  _ coitus _ between human and vampire, where the magic between them settles’ aaaaand, Hajime your notes are all messy after that, but it’s something about ‘mutually beneficial biological effect, as Thralls have strong, balanced “humors” and vampires can never run out of blood, because Thralls produce it faster than normal humans.’”

Ritsu glances at Rei and Hajime, both looking heavily uncomfortable, and smiles. “So it’s not hard to accidentally create a Thrall, all you need is someone you like who’s willing to fu—“

“ _ Ritsu please, spare me _ .” Rei interrupts, grabbing for Hajime’s notes while covering Ritsu’s smirking mouth. “This is...useful information but... _ Firstly _ , why are you telling me in such  _ detail _ ?”

Ritsu pushes Rei’s hand away from his mouth and answers “Well, didn’t you bite Shu-kun?” 

Rei feigns a cough, as if a clear throat would make him less uncomfortable. “...yes? Surely this thrall thing isn’t so easy to stumble into.”

“Well, you  _ did _ ...mention the rapid healing of Instructor Itsuki’s wounds,” Hajime supplies quietly, “And your surprise at his health after so much blood loss. I wouldn’t ever  _ think _ to ask you about…” his face goes pink, but Hajime continues on, “But a thrall is someone you know, someone close to you. The bond only happens with someone you care about and trust, and we’d be blind to ignore the possibility that you and he are bonded now?” The statement ended like a question out of nerves. Ritsu was smiling even wider at his boyfriend’s nervousness; was his precious brother always such a sadist?

_ Ah, but Ritsu is such a cute bully, _ Rei’s mind supplies as he lets out a long suffering sigh. “Would it change anything if we were? If I accidentally gave Shu good health, I’ll count it as a lucky break, and move on from there.”

“Vampires only get  _ one _ Thrall, stupid.” Ritsu says, draping himself over Hajime’s shoulders. “And we’re still translating, but it looks like it’s good for you to drink from them, too. Shouldn’t you at least  _ try _ and tell him?”

Shouldn’t he, indeed. Rei had moped and moaned and berated fate for a few days until Ritsu had gotten so upset with him he’d thrown a binder in his face.

“ _ Just read about the Thrall thing, you noisy bug! _ ” Ritsu had shouted, and left with Hajime. How cruel! But as he usually is, Ritsu was right, and Rei should learn all he could...just in case. 

The “bonding” ritual sounded eerily simple to Rei’s mind; how many accidental bonds must occur for vampires! Though he supposed, there probably weren’t too many vampires running around biting and boning their close friends…( _ the ceremony was to be sealed with a kiss, to share the given blood back to the vampire’s thrall _ , so wrote the author, and Rei felt his ears burn.)

Still, it made sense for vampires to have an easy source of blood that way...it would explain why there weren’t corpses drained of all blood littering morgues worldwide. All you’d have to do is get someone you’re close to, “ _ perform the ritual _ ”, and you’d both be set. The parts that worried Rei (aside from the strange pseudo-science of medieval vampire research) was the writing’s implication of  _ other _ parts of the bond.

The text had an awful lot to say about the physical aspects between thrall and vampire. Sure, it was all under the guise of some ridiculous mysticism, but the ‘supernatural’ connections ( _ able to hear one another’s heartbeats, heightened senses after feeding, rapid healing of wounds _ ) seemed eerily familiar to how Rei’s body had reacted that night...Luckily there didn’t seem to be anything on what happens when a thrall and a vampire are no longer around one another. There was mention of a weakening of the earlier senses, but Rei assumes that to be a good thing; he’d hate having a bodily awareness of Shu at all times as he avoids him so thoroughly! 

But the more he read about it, the more his chest felt leaden. Shu was  _ bound _ to him, and had no idea at all! What if something was to happen to Rei, would Shu be affected? If the bond made a person healthier, would it be unhealthy to  _ not _ feed from him? Shu already had enough health problems, what if Rei had made him worse?!

“Shino-saaaan…” Rei whined, face down in his couch cushions, “You’re a sweet boy, what do you do when you feel  _ terrible  _ about something?”

Hajime, ever empathetic even to Rei’s dramatic mood swings, considered the question seriously. “Ah, well...when I feel bad I usually like to go to confession.” He scratched at his blue hair, bashful. “Though I’m sure Sakuma-senpai would prefer not to, I’m sorry. It’s just, for me, nice to speak with someone who you can’t see and who won’t tell anyone? It’s cathartic.”

Rei stayed in the cushion for a moment, before springing upwards. “You know what, Shino? That might be  _ just _ the thing! The notion of confessional it’s...it’s very romantic.”

“...Romantic, senpai?” Hajime answered, clearly not understanding.

“Yes, yes, poetic or romantic or  _ cathartic _ , many words. It’s a perfect idea, maybe then I can…”  _ Face Shu and own up to my mistakes once again _ , Rei thought, mind racing, and put a mark on his calendar for the next sunday.

Now, with confessional done and over with, all that was left was for Rei to actually speak to Shu...which was the hardest part. Swallowing down dread, he took a deep breath and marked a time in his calendar once more, drawing a small pink star.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, a few notes! 
> 
> I super had to look up how confession works, because I was a bad little catholic and only went twice in my life and didn’t really do it right. The prayer of contrition is pulled from a generic list of them, it’s not too heavily traditional; the ending words shared between Rei and Shu are however, according to the internet!
> 
> Also when Ritsu mentions “humors”: that’s how Old Science thought humans worked! Our health was based around the balance of our Humors which included bile, blood, and i’m pretty sure like. Puss. Fun times! Old Science was really fucking bad.
> 
> Sorry for all the scattered thrall exposition, I just wanted to have a valid reasoning for a) shu not Dying from being sickly and also having a bloodsucking bf and b) Magic Bonds Are Cute Shut Up.
> 
> thanks to ana, my very amazing friend who gives me great feedback always! And as always, a gift for Peach, who I’m incredibly smitten with.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is this whole chapter one conversation? Yes, yes it is.

His tuesday coursework brought him to campus earlier than his other days, earlier enough that staff still had office hours for students to visit. Rei rode his bike in to beat the crowds on the tube (covered head to toe, because  _ sunlight) _ and made it in record time. From months prior he knew where Shu’s office was, and walking there was automatic. 

Reaching the wooden door and finding it closed, Rei knocked politely. Muffled voices could be heard inside, but the old brick of the building kept most things in; still Rei could assume he was with a student. After a minute or two the door opened with a click, and revealed a short man with heterochromia. 

“Thank you again, Father, fer your help!” The student said, skittering off. An unusual beauty; Shu seemed to attract them all around him…

“Please, come in, and shut the door behind you.” Shu said from his desk, not looking up his paperwork. Rei felt his palms sweat, but he did as he was told. “Did that boy call you Father?” He asked, after a moment’s consideration.

Shu’s head shot up so quickly Rei worried for his neck. There was a warm light in the office that made Shu’s skin look flush, his eyes were alight with shock. It hit Rei head-on, how much he’d missed him.

“Yes, I...I took in the next step of the Holy Orders, and was ordained a priest.” Shu answered.

“Oh, well, congratulations,  _ Father Itsuki. _ ” Rei said with a smile “It has a nice ring, doesn’t it?”

Shu answering blank look made Rei break out in a cold sweat. “Ah, there’s no need to be alarmed! Really, I just wanted to, speak with you…”  _ As opposed to what, idiot, _ he thought while staring at a pile of paperwork instead of the other man in the room.

“Please,” Shu blurted out into the following silence “Sit down. There’s a dreadful chill today but my office has its heater, old as it may be.”

“Thanks,” Rei said, and sat in one of the chairs in front of Shu’s desk.

Shu fiddles with some frills at his sleeve for a moment, before sitting perked on his desk chair, ramrod straight. He looked tired in a way that happened to the sickly priest during colder months, Rei notes, and he wonders if being thralled really  _ does _ help a human’s health. There’s a long lapse of silence when neither man knows what to say.

“I’ve been meaning to tell you.” Shu says, surprising both his company and inwardly, himself. “That I’m...glad to see Ritsu so well this semester. He’s often with Hajime-kun before or after practices and he seems very healthy.” There’s a pained look in the priest’s eyes as he frowns, and adds “I find myself... _ remorseful _ for jumping to conclusions about him, over the holiday.”

It was such a Shu way to apologize, through gritted teeth admitting he was wrong, that Rei found himself minutely relaxed. There wasn’t such a change in his friend since december, and the sheer relief cause him to chuckle (hopefully not too maniacally,  _ don’t scare him off he’s just started to look you in the eye _ ,) “I’ll send him your best, though he never knew what was said between us. Still I won’t say I told you so, Shu~.”

Shu stared at him, frown turning to a pout. God help him, Rei found it too cute. “So, what  _ did _ you visit me for then? Out with it.”

“Well firstly, for an...apology all my own.” Rei stated, “I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did to you, that afternoon. I should have stayed and helped, not left in a fit of anger, and...I’m still hoping you’ll forgive me for when I bit you.”

“You’re a very precious friend to me, Shu, and differences aside I think you and I are birds of a feather. It’s hard to find people who put up with my oddball behavior as well as you do!” Rei laughed, running nervous fingers through tangles in his hair. “I’ve been spending a lot of time with Shino and Ritsu...which is lovely, but being third wheel to young love isn’t my favorite way to socialize I’m afraid. I feel  _ aged _ by this whole affair, and I’m tired and...I’m so very sorry for what I did.”

Shu was looking at him still, face unreadably elegant, and Rei couldn’t shut himself up after months away. “For me, you’ve been the closest comfort I’ve indulged in in this hemisphere. You’re extraordinary, Shu, and that has nothing to do with my—ah, awkward inclinations towards you? You're. You’re very pretty, but whatImeantosayis _ —“  _

Rei stared at the wall,  _ what an interesting wall! This wall won’t worry about my big gay mistakes. _ “I’d  _ much _ rather have you as a friend than cause you grief and damnation in the eyes of god. Especially, I mean now you’re a priest that’s what you’ve been working for! Of course, only you could achieve it so early~.”  _ Ah, yes, don’t  _ look _ at Shu; silent judgement you can  _ feel, Rei panicked internally, but still spoke. “You really are amazing. I—want to admire you more, if you’ll let me...and if you’ll forgive me. Good god but you’ve let me ramble, please say  **anything** before I put my shoe more in my mouth here,”

“Just, be quiet then!” Shu says with a flurry of flustered movement, and a huff. “I’m not so barbaric to interrupt a sincere apology, you could have stopped whenever you wanted to.” 

Rei looked at Shu like a man facing death; he found the priest with his arms crossed, rosy cheeked and looking...increasingly pleased with himself. 

“...Shu is laughing at me,” Rei says with his head in his hands. “I bare my soul to you, and you  _ laugh _ . Where is your priestly sympathy?!”

“Nonsense, Rei, come now,” Shu tries, but Rei can hear him holding back his mirth, how cruel! How ungodly! “It’s simply...your delivery it. It’s unimportant, Rei, please do not  _ simper _ .”

Rei attempts a glare at Shu. It’s probably lukewarm, at best.

Shu’s lip quirks up but he refrains from fully smiling. “Do forgive me, I’m unused to. Being flattered this way. In such a…”  tender, fully reciprocated? Rei’s thoughts continue, but Shu continues on a different note “... _ unrefined _ way. Either way, consider your apology fully accepted.”

“After all, I am the one who offered you help. You simply...took that help in a way unexpected to us both. Take care to be more intentional from now on.” Shu said, with a wave of his hand as if it were the simplest thing in the world. Rei’s mind was hyper focusing on the phrase  _ more intentional from now on _ and what it could mean in the context of humping Shu into his couch as Shu continued, “What’s past is past, and its not had any lasting repercussions on either of us, so why dwell?”

Rei clears his throat (and his mind of wandering thoughts), and places his bag onto his lap to pull out a folder of papers. He starts, “Well, actually.” 

Shu lifts his elegant eyebrows to the sky and takes a deep breath. “ _ Lord,  _ give me strength.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for a short chapter! That’s why this is a double chapter update; originally both six and seven were one Huge Fucking Chapter and I just didn’t like that format-wise? So chapter seven is: Rei puts his foot in his mouth. Shu knows more than he lets on. Mika is mentioned if you squint, because I Love Him.
> 
> Not really any notes to make here, aside from a general gratefulness at everyone’s lovely feedback and comments! huge thanks to ana who understands like I do that churches? Kinda Hot.
> 
> A gift for Peach, who’s birthday is either long gone or coming kind of soon, depending on how you perceive time. Time is fake, kids!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shu is stressed, Rei is surprised. Everything is going swimmingly!

Shu has never considered himself too fond of drinking. A chardonnay or a pinot blanc every blue moon, sure, and certainly he was old enough to know intoxication intimately enough to understand moderation. Catholic university or no, the English were very inclined to pubs and stouts; Shu disliked beer and  _ hated _ crowds. He didn’t go out for drinks with the other faculty, with that taken into account.

“So, if I’m interpreting this correctly…”

His childhood friend, Kiryu Kuro, would sometime send him paintings in lieu of a greeting; old portly bishops or deacons with full wine glasses and rosy cheeks. Impeccably painted, surely, but too mirthful and silly to be considered masterful work.

“Due to, the circumstances of that night and our…?”

Rei fiddled with the longest part of his hair, frowning at the pile of papers scattered in front of them both. “Our close relationship. The texts were very specific on there being a, uh, a  _ friendship _ or fraternity or…” The unspoken other sort of connection, one must suppose. How did Rei phrase it? Admiration.

_ Eduard von Grützner _ was the painter Kiryu preferred. Fat, drunken clergymen; Kiryu found it endlessly funny to tease that he’d look like one of them in his old age. As if Shu would ever let himself look anything below standard; death would come first.

“Yes, I am now enthralled—Thralled? excuse me—by you, bound to your vampiric biology in sickness and in health?”

Rei’s cheeks flush a lovely shade, like rosè. Bubbly drinks tended to feel a bit juvenile, but one must make exceptions for the classic french sort. “That,” He laughs, sudden and shrill “I said it may  _ affect _ both our health, to put it that way sounds like a marriage vow…”

Shu might not be wrinkly or fat, but he may soon have to concede to Kiryu and turn to drink. He craved some sort of anchor, and with Mademoiselle safe and lovely in his study, an aged malbec would do him  _ incredibly _ well. 

If only there weren’t restrictions on spirits in the workplace. He could have a crystal set and decanter, right near the third file cabinet…

“So, so what am I to...what are we to do about this precisely?” Shu says, tone mimicking neutrality poorly as his hands tossed the folder he'd been holding. “These testimonies written in the  _ dark ages _ hardly hold sense; how do you even know they’re true? D-does this have something to do with. Why you and I were—“

Rei’s interruption was panicked. “No! I mean, yes? But also no. I know you wouldn’t have done something like that without an outside influence.”—Presumptuous of him to think so; but Shu felt it to be a poor idea to divulge his feelings at the moment. Or at any moment, you are an  _ ordained priest _ Shu, he sternly reminded. A man of the cloth must leave such matters beneath themselves to become a paragon of virtue, and frankly the standard of celibacy appealed to Shu after Nito. But  _ now _ , well; his standards seemed in constant fluctuation, one could say. One could  _ also _ pay attention to one's guest while he speaks—“I figured you’d be comforted to know that since the ‘ceremony’ must involve an act of, of intimacy it must have been the reason for your reaction is all.”

At this Rei paused for a reaction, but Shu found himself lacking one. He didn’t press, instead gesturing to a passage on the photocopies he’d brought to Shu’s office, “This horseshit about magic, I’m assuming like most old things about magic, is probably just biology at work. Creatures in heat releasing pheromones, or something.”

Shu considered the possibility as Rei paused yet again. His searching looks were becoming rather petulant, and the silence growing awkward. Shu cleared his throat. “Truly fascinating. Still, aside from idle research I am yet unsure how to use this information? Was it only meant to sate my consciousness on sexual acts?”

“Ah, no not  _ only _ that,” Rei insists, “I hoped I could maybe inform you, in case of any changes in your health you’ve felt…?”

Shu sighs, and swallows down another craving for wine. “I have not felt any different,  _ non _ . Not since the few days after, I suppose.” With his wound closing so quickly, and a sudden spring to his step that didn’t match his tumulus emotions of betrayal and shame. “The winter is always bad for my health, so I fear these texts of yours must be ill conceived, since I feel no better than I usually do in the colder part of the year.”

“See, that’s actually something I thought of,” Rei said, in a tone that made Shu even more curious. “I think there are only benefits if the vampire is  _ feeding _ from their thrall,”

“I thought...you only came here to talk?” Shu questioned with a squeak to his voice betraying his obvious train of thought, feeding, drinking his blood, Lord  _ remember the last time _ —

“Oh no, no, yes I definitely did!” Rei answered immediately, face going more  _ cabernet sauvignon _ than  _ rosè _ . “I mean that, Shu. I would never force myself on you. The past few months have been proof, that I can live off any blood it doesn’t even have to be fresh.”

Rei reaches a delicate hand and places it on Shu’s shoulder, the ( _ incredibly platonic _ ,  _ not at all significant _ ) gesture burns heat through Shu’s knit even with the other man's low body temperature.

“I’ve missed you too much to not at least try to tell you these things—it’s just in case you need to know. It’s not for...you’ll never have to dirty yourself for me like that again, Shu.” Rei says, and in the red of his eyes Shu’s own are reflected. The implication of infinite repetition within the cornea’s black mirror is mesmerizing; as before, everything about Rei leaves Shu a breathless picture of smitten.

“It’s not dirty,” Shu replies.

“...What?”

“I don’t think it’s dirty,” Shu repeats. “Sex. Primitive, surely, and  _ arguably _ unrefined but it’s not inherently wrong or sinful, else the human race would have been created without it! Frankly, all animals would have been created without it, but a clergyman like myself has no place questioning the intricacies of God’s design”

Shu’s not sure if he’s ever seen so much of Rei’s mouth, hanging open as it is. Entirely unrefined for such a beauty, but he corrects himself quickly enough. “...Okay. That doesn’t mean it was...I mean did you want? Okay...I’m too old for this.”

“We’re the same age, Rei.” Shu reminds him. “I’m simply stating a fact. And you know, it would be fabulous to have a way to rid myself of these seasonal ailments. What’s a little bloodletting to a quality of life previously unbeknownst?”

“ _ A little bloodletting, _ Shu. This conversation is aging me, have sympathy for an old man…” Rei groans, rubbing at his temples. A moment passed and then he’s staring again; at least Rei’s mouth is closed as he looks at him.

“I believe we should try it, you drinking from me again. After all, there’s no point to a hypothesis without testing it.” Shu states with more calm than he feels,  _ don’t _ dwell on what transpired the last time,  _ surely _ a side effect of  _ vampirism _ and not at all your friend’s natural beauty and sex appeal, “Now that we’ve gotten all off our chest, there’s no reason to leave questions unanswered. Do you have a lecture today, shall we schedule a time to meet?” Rei can probably tell the rapidness of Shu’s heartbeat through his speedy breath, but he’s polite enough not to point out. He blinks, long dark lashes flutter as if to clear the dust from his wide eyes, and nods. 

“...You really do surprise me, Shu,” Rei laughs, smiling at him with fondness “You’ve got more guts than I give you credit for. Offering your blood to a monstrous vampire~.”

Shu scoffs, “Please, I’ve offered blood to scarier monsters at the chapel’s health fair; some of the hairiest men I’ve ever  _ seen _ on those blood buses... _ disgusting _ .”

Rei laughed more genuinely, and Shu let himself be pleased. Surely nothing could be wrong about being bound to such a dear friend...if all was in accordance with God’s will. Rei ran off to class, and Shu shuffled through the pages he’d left behind. Surely, nothing could be wrong about these feelings if they came naturally, and through critical thought. Surely, Shu as both a rational person and a man of faith, could make simple, split second decisions without regret or remorse. Surely, Shu was rationilizing out of his ass and making as many excuses as possible for himself until Rei returned to his office. At least he no longer wanted any alcohol.

 

***

 

“Is this truly...necessary?”

“Well I rode it here, and there’s no overnight parking so,” Rei passed Shu a passenger helmet (cherry red, ugh, it would clash horribly with his ensemble) and grinned “Unless you want to pay the fee when it gets towed, I believe it is.”

Shu found the offer tempting, but before he could make good on Rei’s bluff the man was straddling his motorcycle seat. The priest was having a hard time seeing it as any less than a death machine, but Shu understood the appeal, aesthetically. It was a sleek, small vintage sort of motorbike; more bike than motor hence his hesitation...there is not much structural integrity to such a vehicle. 

Rei turned the key in its ignition and adjusted his seating; the pants he wore were of thick leather, padded in multiple places for safety’s sake; of course, Shu notes, they also did much to flatter Rei’s figure. Between them, and the old motorist jacket he wore...well. Must he be such an Adonis always? Rei may have caught him looking at his backside, judging by the irritating, surprised smirk the vampire now wore. Shu made a note to die of embarrassment later, “You’re sure this is entirely a safe vehicle?”

“Positive,” Rei answers before dropping his helmet visor and making childish grabby hands at Shu. He frowned at the display but conceded, placing on his garish helmet and straddling the contraption behind his friend. It was thrilling to think of Rei as a friend once again, though he had little doubts on forgiving him after hearing his confession.

No doubt not nearly as thrilling as the ridiculous ( _ sinful _ \--his mind supplies rudely-- _ it wasn’t like that _ ) endeavor they now plotted a course for. 

“Wraps your arms around my waist to be more secure, if you’d like!” Rei shouted over the noisy engine. Shu did as he was told, and the motorbike and its two passengers were off.

The chill of the air and the warmth of the bike stood in contrast to each other, but the sun peaked out from behind the clouds as the pair neared Shu’s apartment in what seemed like no time at all. The ride was surprisingly not terrifying; it was relaxing in all but the close proximity to Rei. Shu did not indulge in much skinship, so being wedged onto a small vehicle while holding someone close was foreign to say the least.

Parking the motorbike nearby, the two men made their way up the stairs in silence. Shu let them both in, making sure with a pointed stare that Rei recalled to remove his shoes before entering; his friend had gone native in that regard and tracked his shoes all over his own flat as he pleased. Shu would have none of that, and Rei was perfectly obliging; out of reflex he headed directly to his kitchen. “Tea?” Shu asks, before halting in his movements to look back. “Are you capable of...drinking tea still?”

Rei was eying his piano, perched on the sofa. “Oh, yeah, I can eat and drink regularly it just goes right through me basically. Only thing of nutritional value is blood I’m afraid.” 

Shu nodded, and put the kettle on his stovetop. He stood staring for another minute, though stalling what he had already mindlessly offered was a moot point. It’s not as if Rei would hold him down and take what he wanted from Shu—he was entirely certain that if asked Rei would drop everything and simply go home. It wasn’t that he was still embarrassed by what had happened on christmas break ( _ he was _ , but no one needed that knowledge externally), so why did he find himself so anxious? Shu was the man who offered, and he didn’t do so out of ulterior motive—he found himself genuinely interested in ridding himself of ailments as one can be sure any man would be. Falling ill when one is presented with a remedy, even an unusual one, seemed a foolish sleight of an opportunity after all. The nerves came perhaps from the priests yearning, the cracks of primitive humanity in the facade of the holy—

The whistle of his kettle boiling broke Shu from his circuitous thoughts; he served two cups and brought them out to the living room sofa where Rei sat. Rei accepted the cup graciously.

“When was the last time that piano was tuned?” Rei asked as Shu sat at a polite distance.

“Ah, I can’t seem to recall. I tend to use the piano at the University for accompanying when necessary.” Shu answers. Rei groans, placing his tea down on the table.

“That’s a crime! It looks mistreated, Shu, surely a musician like you should understand to take care of instruments...pianos especially.”

Shu simply raised an eyebrow at Rei’s strange fitful tangent, “I thought you played mostly string instruments?”

“Yes, but I do play the piano a bit, mostly to play with Ritsu...anyway, I know a great piano tuner nearby, you should let me give her a call for you—“

“Anyway indeed, Rei, do focus.” Shu states, putting his tea down as well and swallowing a lump in his throat. “We might as well begin.” he says, but doesn’t look in Rei’s direction.

“I guess you’re right,” Rei says glumly in the direction of the dusty piano. “We should just  _ bite _ the bullet here.”

Shu turns to Rei, feeling thoroughly unimpressed. Rei is grinning widely, “Bad play on words? I should take this seriously for Shu, you seem determined to test this  _ hypothesis _ ...Should I keep the puns for after our little  _ experiment _ ? Wouldn’t want to ruin our  _ chemistry _ after all.”

“Rei Sakuma, you are ridiculous.”

“Shu Itsuki,  _ you _ are smiling,” Rei responds with a wink. Shu feels himself flush, touching a cheek. This atmosphere was unexplored territory, walking a tightrope blindfolded. Shu was a priest of the Catholic Church, but he was still a modern man who lived and breathed and experienced a modern life; he was almost certain Rei was flirting with him.

Shu had never flirted before, desire most often a foreign concept and socializing an obligation more than a pleasure. Despite any previous opinions on the activity, to have such attention felt...pleasant.

He gave Rei’s arm a gentle shove, and tried to contain his revelation. “D-don’t continue to distract. Unfortunate for you, once my curiosity is piqued it’s hard for me to let go of something until I have answers.” Shu states, before glancing back into his home. “Now, do I need to disinfect the skin of my wrist before you ah, drink?”

Rei blinks at him, “Your wrist?”

“Yes, my wrist. The ulnar artery should have the same flow of blood as the jugular, would it not suffice?”

“Oh no, I mean of course not! It’s perfectly fine,” Rei responds, looking slightly thrown off. “That makes more sense, as well, in case it leaves a mark.” 

Rei’s eyes trail to Shu’s throat, and the lump he’d felt earlier made its unfortunate return. “Though I bet you could hide anything under the collar of your priestly robes...they’re fairly high aren’t they?”

Shu could imagine it, just like the last time, bitemarks turned to bruise in yellowing pinks hidden under his robes like a lover’s mark. Shu shook his head resolutely, “No, it seems a better idea to try the wrist. If you lose control, anyway, it’d be far harder to bleed out from there than at the neck.” He clarified, just in case. 

Rei frowned but didn’t press it. Gently, he took Shu’s left hand with his own, flipping it over and running a finger down the lines of his palm. “I’m keeping well fed, you know. There isn’t much of a chance of me going crazy and drinking too much blood.” 

Shu nodded (his reasoning mostly an excuse to spare himself more vulnerability to temptation than to save him some ill fate from his friend), and took a steadying breath. “Go on, then.”

Dark fringe tickled the skin of Shu’s forearm as Rei bent to meet his wrist. A glance of red irises as he presses a delicate kiss to the thin skin there; Shu feels lightheaded, giddy as if he were going to laugh at this very inappropriate moment. He feels Rei breathe in before his mouth opens, and fangs press into his skin slowly.

Years of IV drips and medical shots kept Shu from flinching, though there was a trembling to his stature. The trembling turned to a shudder as Rei began to feed, a familiar warmth blooming from his wrist as if to flow in opposition with the blood he was currently losing. Shu refused to panic, or draw attention to the feeling: he forces his breath steady. It wasn’t so much arousal as it was liquid electricity, a throbbing like a pulse that left nothing to focus on but Rei’s labored breathing, his tongue, his lips. Curses that damnation, the devil himself, must appear as beautiful as an angel! Temptation must be as such to the weak minded, those of faith see sin from sainthood plainly, Shu always thought.

Rei  _ always _ proved him wrong.

Rei pulled away, making a quiet sound that set Shu’s face ablaze. His hooded eyes met Shu’s carefully neutral expression, chest rising and falling rapidly.

“Are you…alright…?”

Shu scoffed at his cautious tone, “Is that really what you’re asking  _ me _ ? You look bewildered; are  _ you _ alright?” 

Rei leaned backward, heaving a long breath in. “I’m  _ fantastic _ . I’m great, don’t worry about me now~.” He gripped Shu’s hand, turning his forearm this way and that to examine the bite. “Damn, it’s already fading.” He whistled, pushing some of his hair back. Rei appeared to have broken out into a sweat, perspiring enough that Shu could feel his body heat. Rei was still out of breath; Shu thought he must feel suffocated in all the leather he wore...he had half a mind to ask to take his jacket. The other half glanced down at the pants Rei wore, and ceased thinking about much else upon noticing he was visibly aroused. 

“...There’s basically no mark left. That’s definitely not normal,” Rei says, but Shu still can’t make himself look up. Rei always wears expertly fitted clothes, it’s not like Shu wasn’t  _ aware _ of his friend’s stature but. The stretch of fabric over his erection looked uncomfortably tight. There wasn’t much breathing room to begin with, and Rei was...above average to say the least. Surely he would need to purchase pants with a wider inseam, or at the least adjust his sitting position for fear of cutting off circulation to—

“Shu? Shu,” Rei repeats to catch his attention. Shu blinks at him, straightening his posture as Rei smiles, all teeth. 

A slender hand rests on Shu’s thigh, and looking at it jolts his body into awareness of his own blatant erection. Eyes meetings once again, Rei asks “Would you want some help with that?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry its been such a while since I last posted! I've been in a major writer's block, but everyone on twitter has been so lovely to me about this fic, and I really do appreciate it. A great big thank you to ana, for alway indulging my catholic eroticism, and to teawitchjo for accidentally noticing senpai!
> 
> I changed my twitter name but if you like enstars and don't mind nsfw, i'm there @bibliobarf ~
> 
> a gift for peach, who I would help with that.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oh boy are there some dicks in this chapter! and a surprising amount of emotional vulnerability...I hope you enjoy!

Rei wasn’t lying when he said he was fantastic; he couldn’t think of a time he’d been better. Shu tasted of ambrosia: the flavor of his blood so different from anything else it was practically a delicacy pumping through his veins. Rei didn’t take much (he also was not lying when he said he’d been keeping well fed, and with no real hunger he wouldn’t push his sickly friend), but even with that small taste he felt himself quickly sated. He idly wondered if this was how heroin addicts felt after a hit, trying to appear less fucked out than he felt after the smallest sip from Shu. Blood rushing to his groin and heart thudding like he’d just cum in his pants; “bewildered” was one way to put it.

More bewildering was Shu’s behavior towards him tonight. Sure, he’d seen his priestly friends eyes linger in certain places before, who wouldn’t? Rei wasn’t blind and he wasn’t shy; he knew what he looked like. And he knew from the moment he met Shu that that man wasn’t straight; sure, he could be a celibate priest but no one put that much effort into their eyebrows and liked women. Still, Shu’s fixation was beauty not sex appeal, so any time he looked Rei felt sort of proud; He must be doing something right, to grab attention for things other than his animal magnetism.

Shu staring wide-eyed at where his dick strained against his pants zipper, well, that was new.

_ Do you wanna touch it? _ Was his first thought, but Rei held back; Shu would freak out if you asked him to touch your dick, even if he is looking at it like he’s about to start drooling.  _ Stare at it any harder and you’ll put your eye out, kid! _ Fucking hell, American christmas movie references? Does he think that’ll work on the priest he’s fucking gay for? Rei thinks all his rationality is below par with all his blood below the belt. Maybe he should just ignore it; he’s sure a polite person would. But, of course he’s never been good at being polite, and Shu’s thigh is warm and soft through his pants as his hand lands there, gripping.

“Would you want some help with that?”

Shu’s mask of neutrality breaks way for an expression of sheer embarrassment. “Wh-That’s, well, it’s not like I—“ Shu lets out, starting about 4 sentences and finishing none of them. Rei nodded rapidly, as if his friend’s trepidation was contagious, “Of course, of course, don’t worry! I’ll back off,” he said, lifting his hand off Shu’s shapely thigh. Rei leaned away, intending to give his friend space but before he got far Shu grabbed his arm. It was Rei’s turn to be surprised, it seemed; eyebrows raised he stared at his captive wrist, and back at Shu who was still very pink faced and looking at the floor.

“How...would you help?” Shu states in a neutral tone. 

Rei couldn’t contain a small chuckle. “Uh, well, with my hands? I-I figured it’s my bite’s fault so, I may as well…take responsibility.”

Shu released his arm, raising his chin and folding his arms over his chest. “Very well,” he answered, eyes closing in expectation. Rei blinked owlishly at his friend’s slight frown, his own hand, and again at Shu’s obvious hard on. Rei wasn’t looking a gift horse in the mouth, pretty excited ( _ disbelieving _ ) that Shu even said yes but already the priest looked, well...tense. Rei sighed through his nose, touching Shu’s shoulders gently. Shu flinched like he’d shocked him, but at least his eyes opened, “You're going to need to get a little closer if you really want my hand on your dick, Shu.”

Shu looked at Rei as if he’d caused him immense grief. “Why aren’t you simply..? Just! P-place me where I’m...just do what you will! Don’t make me  _ say _ such things,” Shu stated haltingly, nerves bleeding through his tone.

“Do what I will?” Rei repeated, with a smile. “Rather have me take charge, huh~?” With about as much permission as he was bound to get out of the priest, Rei grabs Shu’s waist and pulls him over to straddle his lap. 

“I know why, though, it’s okay,” Rei insists as Shu settles onto his thighs. He’s almost  _ squirming  _ by the time Rei opens his belt, breath audible. “Shu was a good boy growing up, yeah? He wouldn’t know anything about this sort of thing…”

Rei unzips his slacks and pulls his briefs (pure white and plain, _so_ _pure_ ) with them down to Shu’s thighs. The priest gasps, but he’s looking away from Rei, eyes scrunched in embarrassment at his state. Rei was almost angry trailing a hand through Shu’s happy trail; of _course_ a priest would have a nice dick. What a waste.

“Have you ever even touched yourself, I wonder?” Rei continues, watching as Shu brings a hand to his mouth, skimming a single finger from his base to the tip. He felt Shu’s cock twitch as he finally wrapped a loose fist around it, and asked “Hmm? Have you, Father?”

“D-don’t,” Shu muttered, leaning his forehead onto Rei’s shoulder. “don’t tease me…” Is he hiding his face? Rei gave his erection a few firm strokes, and felt his friend’s hot breath through his jacket. Shu was being shy, though Rei was truly curious about the answer to that question he wouldn’t push. “Sorry, Shu, I was just wondering…if you knew what felt best for you I bet I could make you feel good faster…”

Rei twisted his wrist a bit like he enjoyed, and Shu let out a low note. He doubted it would actually take him too long, with Shu being a repressed virgin, but Rei wanted to hear more of his lovely voice. Anything to pull him out of the shell Shu wanted to stay inside of; anything to get him present and with Rei. Selfish, stupid thoughts clouded Rei’s mind as he nuzzled into Shu’s hair, placing a tender kiss there in contrast to the filthy hanjob he was  _ also _ giving. Shu stifled a whimper.

“Hey, Shu,” Rei said, using his unsoiled hand to run his fingers through soft hair. Rei stroked his hair until Shu finally raised his head, eyes hooded and cheeks flushed. Rei’s chest felt tight with affection; he cupped Shu’s cheek. “You have to relax or it won’t feel as good at all. Do you want me to stop?”

Shu shook his head, leaning heavily against the other man’s hand,  _ god he was so fucking cute _ . “Please,” Shu added, leaning back to push his hips up into Rei’s and the vampires brain nearly short circuited. He let out an affirmative that hardly mattered and gripped Shu’s cock again, fingers smearing precum across the head. The friction got easier with it, quicker without resistance but Rei’s focus was all on Shu’s face. His friend was watching Rei’s hand move on his cock with rapt attention, hand fisted at his mouth to muffle any noise. His light eyes darkened with desire watching his body unravel in Rei’s hands was a heady drug, and Rei wanted more of it.

“Here, Shu, do what you did before with your hips while I,” Rei says, voice low and rough like he was the one being touched, being unraveled. Shu glances at him with a shudder, nodding, and shakily thrust up into his hand. “That’s so good, see? Doesn't it feel good, Shu? Fucking my fist like that…” 

Shu lets out a moan, unmuffled as he uses both hands to steady himself and hump into Rei’s hand. “It—it feels, good…” Shu admits with a gasp; and Rei probably makes an undignified noise but it’s  _ hot _ , and Shu’s so hot, and he looks so fucking pretty with his dick out. 

Shu stills suddenly, flushing “What...what about you?” 

Rei’s eyebrows migrate towards his hairline. “What about me?”

Shu pouts. “You know what I mean.”

“I really do—oh,  _ me _ .” Rei follows Shu’s eyes to his boner once again. “You don’t have to worry about that, Shu.” 

It’s hard to be around someone so giving when you’re not expecting it, eh? Rei obviously was going to take care of himself later, still; he wrapped an arm around Shu’s waist and pulled him into a loose embrace. Giving a quick kiss to the temple, Rei smiles “I know you’re kind, and you want to do unto others and all but I wouldn’t make you do anything you didn’t want to for my sake, Shu.”

“But I do want to!”

Rei pulled away like Shu had slapped him, dumbfounded. Shu’s glare, directed at the couch cushion besides them, could set lesser furniture ablaze. “I do  _ want to _ , are you daft? Why else would I be here…?”

“You. You want to...you want  _ me _ ?” Rei asks incredulously.

“Want you? I adore you, how blind;  _ obtuse _ can you be? Of course I want you—and I can’t...it won’t…” Shu trailed off, slowly crumpling. He folded his arms again, hunching in on himself as if to disappear and the lightbulb finally lit in Rei’s mind:  _ Shu had feelings for him. _

After a moment’s pause, Shu shifted as if to get up; Rei grabbed him by the shoulders and hugged him. “Hey! woah, sorry, just give me a minute to process...please don’t run away.” he said lamely, still surprised.

Shu’s frame shook, like he wanted to resist but thought better of it. After a moment and an audible sigh, the priest rested his head in Rei’s shoulder once more...Rei could feel his face was wet,  _ fuck _ he made Shu  _ cry _ . He tried to play things off casual because he’s an idiot who figured that would be better, but Shu  _ liked _ him; oh  _ shit _ . “We need to talk about this, huh?”

“...Must we? I thought, that this would be...simple.” Shu replies, muffled into Rei’s jacket. “When people speak of passion, they make it seem like one is swept up in the ‘moment’. That’s how it went last time,  _ non _ ? What is making this so  _ difficult _ ?”

Rei rubbed soothing circles into Shu’s shoulder blades through the soft knit he wore and thought for a moment. “Well, you aren’t being honest with yourself, are you? Though I guess I wasn’t being completely honest with you either, heh. Helping you out...of course that was just an excuse. Didn’t think I’d have to fess up about that, really sometimes I feel you know everything Shu~! I thought you saw right through me. Here I am being selfish with you again, after I promised to back down…”

“Foolish to consider it selfish when I agreed to this,” Shu sighs, growing more frustrated with each moment. “How many times must I convince you I am no victim? This is, what I want and...my sin to burden, with God as witness I keep…! Betraying my station for whims beneath me!”

Rei can’t help but grow stiff at that, ah. Yet again he was mistaken, obviously at fault for being too sexy, too flirty, too tempting. By want, Shu had meant  _ desired _ ; and Rei just jumped to another conclusion. “Whims...right,” Must be some sort of curse, he guesses it must be sin if he’s being punished all the time. Rei lets go of Shu, letting his arms lie limp. “No, I get it. By adore you meant I got your dick hard, yeah? You shouldn’t stoop as low as me on a whim.”

“No,  _ stupid _ , that came out all wrong;  _ you _ are not  _ lowly _ ,” Shu sits up and grabs Rei’s shoulders, shaking them. “How does it—you haven’t done anything sinful, it’s me who—who is in the wrong. You’re perfect Rei you aren’t a whim and i-it’s. It is not like that.”

Rei lets himself be manhandled, more confused by Shu than before. “If it isn’t like that how can you beat yourself up about it..?” He runs a hand through his hair, clicking his tongue in irritation. “I don’t understand you. How can you consider your desires sinful but  _ me _ perfect? I’ve had plenty of sex out of wedlock if that’s how you define it. Is it because I’m a man?”

Shu rolls his eyes, as if  _ Rei _ was being ridiculous “ _ Please _ , sex out of wedlock is hardly a sin; to be level headed about faith one must interpret ancient texts to fit the culture of the times: one could hardly assume with half the world unable to be wed or uncaring to that they’d all be damned to hell. I.” The previous statements confidence drains from Shu’s voice and posture, he removes his hands from Rei’s shoulders and ( _ cutely, why is he still so cute, _ ) attempts to cover where he’s exposed with the length of his shirt. “It’s, within me a weakness of character, I swore I’d never…”

“What, never fuck? Shu, you’re contradicting yourself.” Rei takes his friends hands in his own, trying to catch his eyes as Shu refuses to meet them. “If it isn’t damning, they why are you so sure you should be ashamed…?”

The priest takes a deep breath inward, closing his eyes before looking at Rei with a steady gaze. “I swore I’d never have such feelings...After my adolescence, and frankly it was going swimmingly until you came along.”

Rei frowned, feeling scolded. “Adolescence? Is that when you figured you liked other men…? I know Catholicism doesn’t have the best track record with homosexuality.”

“No, no it does not. But I’m not so droll as it have a complex about it, please. Reading any old history book will teach a man that homosexuality has always existed across culture, race, even species. I'd never be ignorant enough to assume God is so faulty in his design.” Shu’s eyes glance away, but he threads his fingers with Rei’s at his chest where before his hand lie limp. “There was, a friend of mine is all. In choir with me, Nazuna Nito. I didn’t...I couldn’t…”

Shu took a steadying breath, scowling to cover up the obvious upset he felt as he continued, “I’d only ever loved people who I had to, or  _ things _ I could dress up and change, manipulate as an artist does to their medium. I thought that he should be grateful, to be loved by me and transformed by my hand...such abhorrent narcissism. I ruined a perfectly good friend because I was obsessed with making him mine, and so...God saved me from myself as I swore to never feel that covetous again.”

A long pause, and Rei can almost picture it, Shu young and brilliant and unable to express his emotions healthily, without manipulation and mistakes. It wasn’t unlike his own childhood, really. Rei squeezes Shu’s hand in his own, bringing one to rest on his shoulder. “Shu...you were young. People make mistakes, shouldn’t you—“

“Youth is no excuse. There’s nothing to be done about Nito but I thought I could save myself from further hellfire by abstaining from wanting. But here I am, as if I learned nothing..!” Shu spat out the last words, remorse souring to anger. “I should be smarter than this...more  _ kempt— _ and I certainly shouldn’t involve  _ you _ in at all if I held a shred of empathetic perspective.”

“...Isn’t your god one of forgiveness?” Rei interjected, a moment later. “When he saved you, don’t you think he forgave you as well? Shu, there can't be sin in wanting when all I want is you back. Isn’t that obvious?”

Shu frowned at him, but the anger didn’t reach his eyes any longer. “Don’t speak as if you know anything about it—about God, or sin...there’s a standard one must uphold themselves to in his service; a standard I continue to fail!”

“Standard? Shu, your standards for yourself are ridiculous! Here I am thinking it was all you thinking I was disgusting, not that you were the problem for what, returning my feelings? Jeez Shu...you really had me worried.” Rei brought their faces close, nuzzling his nose against Shu’s with little resistance from the surprised priest. He kissed Shu’s cheeks gently, one and then the other, and pulled back to look at him. “We both share these feelings, there’s nothing wrong with them. There’s no sin in love, is there Father?”

“I’m…” Shu was silent for a long moment, as Rei gazed at him. Ridiculous, contrary, gorgeous man; Shu was dangerously pretty and far too clever about everything that wasn’t  _ himself _ . His lips pursed around half-formed thoughts, before asking “You’re in love with me?”

Rei blanched, face heating. “It. Would it be unheard of if I was? Shu, you already know I think you’re wonderful.” Rei lets out a breath, smiling. “It’s been hard to keep my hands to myself all this time, and that's just because of how cute you are...you’re also my nearest, dearest friend so you can only imagine what the depths of my feelings have come to~. Did you think I was just jerking you off for fun? I may have a  _ history _ , but I don’t just hand out sexual favors here and there; just what do you think of me Father?”

“Oh, stop being disgusting.” Shu pouts, slapping a hand on Rei’s chest. “Don’t call me Father while we’re being like this! Or else I’ll begin thinking of something uncomfortable to call  _ you _ next.” To Rei’s delight, contrary to his tone Shu looks pleased. His friend leaned in closer, whispering “Onii-chan, perhaps?”

_ Well _ , that was something he was going to jerk off to later. Rei wraps his arms around Shu’s waist to bring him closer, and hopes he doesn’t look as happy as he feels. “Shu must not have been such a good boy after all, if he knows how to toy with a guy like this...he’s being cruel to me, after I was so genuine.”

“Oh am I?” Shu asks, genuine curiosity. “You seem to be enjoying it, but I could be willfully misinterpreting. Shall I, ah, kiss it all better…?”

Shu falters just a bit at the end, cheeks reddening and Rei thought his heart might have stopped. Drained of all blood, turned into a vampire: killed by his incredibly cute best friend. “Shu,  _ please _ ,” Rei whines out, before impatiently bringing their lips together himself.

It was the first time they’d really kissed, Rei realized. Accidentally  _ maybe _ making out while dry humping on his couch doesn’t necessarily count as experience, so even if Shu seemed to have the bravado to initiate he faltered once their lips met. Rei took it slow, tilting his head to the side and coaxing Shu to lean closer with a hand on the small of his back. It didn’t take much to kiss well when you were already as hot as Shu was, so it was a matter of guidance. Not that Rei could admit aloud that he was guiding; he didn’t want to scare Shu off  _ now. _

Warmth pooling low in his stomach, Shu tangled a hand in his hair and suckled Rei’s bottom lip between his own. Rei shivered, licking at Shu’s mouth, asking admission. He took a deep breath in and mimicked the motion before deepening the kiss; Shu’s hand tightened in the hair at his nape. His mouth was pure heat, almost as dizzying as the taste of his blood,  _ heavenly _ . Shu was either a quick learner or Rei was easy; it could be both but he found himself hard embarrassingly quick, worked up from just a little frenching. Rei’s brain was too scrambled to be worried about that too long, though, with better things to focus on like finally getting a handful of Shu’s pert backside.

Shu let out a squeaking gasp at his groping, Rei muffled a smug grin into his neck, trailing kisses there while encouraging Shu’s hips to press forward, groin to groin. “I—can feel you laughing you— _ imbecile _ .” He says weakly, with a stutter of his hips brushing his erection with Rei’s clothed one. Rei sucked at the skin just below Shu’s ear, letting out a breath through his nose and grabbing his ass harder, rutting up from under him. “It’s a  _ smile _ , Shu is too cute is all…”

“Hmph! C-cute isn’t, what you should call a man,  _ ah _ , I’m not some...toy, or, chil—d!” Shu argued,  _ still _ , while Rei spread his cheeks and ran a finger down to his puckered entrance. Each circle of his hips rubbed his erection against the leather of Rei’s pants; he wondered idly if that was a good feeling or if it chaffed. He circled a finger at Shu’s hole, just to tease; Rei certainly was eager but he wasn’t stupid enough to try and fuck a virgin with no lube and no experience. Each teasing motion earned him a new note, a new breath or moan; music to his ears.

“Don’t pout, Shu~. If you don’t want to be cute I can call you something else,” Rei mused, pulling his hands away from Shu’s ass and earning a whimper at the loss. “Here, hold this with your teeth, darling.” Rei says, pushing Shu’s sweater and button down up and towards his face. Shu only looks mildly insulted before complying, face red as a cherry and chest exposed. Rei made quick work of his own jacket, shrugging it off before unzipping his pants to let his cock free. He couldn’t help the relieved sigh as the cool air hit; he made a mental note to not wear leather the next time he expected  _ excitement _ . His eyes closed as he gave himself a few strokes, opening to meet Shu’s wide eyed stare. He was a perfect mirror of when this all began, only with a flush down to his chest and his cock leaking onto his stomach; so  _ much _ more interested. Rei couldn’t contain his own leering gaze, pinching at one of Shu’s exposed nipples. “Like what you see?”

Shu couldn’t respond with his mouth full, but his cock twitched so Rei could take that as a yes. Ducking down, he licked at Shu’s chest while trailing a hand down his side. He lingered on each rib under the skin with his fingertips, sucking at a rosy bud until he heard the priest moan through the fabric in his mouth. “Though I’d never call you cute to say you’re childish, you are pretty as a doll all over Shu…” Rei sighed, licking and biting at his left nipple after abusing the right. “So pretty, I could keep you in a case and show you off to everyone…”

Shu’s dick gave an interested twitch at that, leaking enough precum Rei almost thought he came untouched. That was something to remember for later, then. “Oh, Shu, you are gorgeous like this.”

Shu’s hands, previously tangled and tugging at Rei’s hair, suddenly left him as the other man pulled his sweater and shirt overhead with a swift movement. Rei was momentarily caught off guard, eyes focusing on Shu’s slightly ruffled hair as the priest wrapped his arms over his shoulders once more and attacked his mouth with a ferocity. If Rei was dizzy with passion before, Shu had knocked all sense out of him now.

A moan slipped from Rei’s mouth into Shu’s as the heated kiss brought them closer, chest to chest, the warmth of Shu’s skin and the pound of his heartbeat loud in Rei’s ears. He trailed a hand down, grabbing Shu’s cock and rubbing a thumb down the slit to hear Shu’s startled groan. They were both leaking a lot, but just in case...Rei pulled away and spat into his palm before taking himself into his hand. 

Shu scowled at him, “That’s— _ unsanitary _ ,  _ why would you _ —“ he exclaimed, but Rei kind of found it comical with lips as kiss bruised as his to think a little spit to be gross, so he lined up their cocks and jerked them both off with his spit-slicked palm.

Shu stopped complaining pretty much immediately after that.

Head falling again to his shoulder, Rei could feel the priest’s heated breath as he moaned softly, hips matching the motion of Rei’s own as they both seemed close. Shu was tense in a whole different way now, undecided between vocal and shy as his hands wandered up and down Rei’s chest, his abdomen. Shu’s perfectly manicured nails dug into his skin when Rei did something particularly well with his hands, and the pain felt like more reward than a kiss. 

His pace was becoming frantic, mind suddenly full of the importance of him being here with Shu; of Shu wanting this with Rei. Rei pulled Shu to a desperate kiss, all teeth and tongue and want. His fangs must have nicked Shu’s tongue because suddenly both their mouths tasted of his blood, and with a high moan that was what sent Rei over the edge. 

Rei’s body went on autopilot through the panting frenzy of orgasm; he tugged Shu’s head back by the hair, and bit down hard at his neck as his hand moved over his cock. Shu let out a magnificent shout and came as Rei clung to him, sucking more at his skin than at the blood lazily dripping out of his bite.

Rei counted the beats of Shu’s heart from where he felt it thudding against his ribs through the thin fabric that separately their chests. Decompressing, Shu’s hands idly roamed his back, shaking and tender. This meant a lot, and before he felt too gross covered in sweat and cum Rei basked in the afterglow. Shu pulled away from him first, looking more beautiful than anyone had a right to, as always. Rei brought a hand up to caress his cheek.

“...Is it normal for you to finish first?” Shu asked, after a moment. 

Rei felt himself jolt, pause, and fall sideways on the couch with an arm covering his eyes. “Did you. really just question my stamina after our first time together?! Are you judging me so harshly? After  _ once _ ?! You’ve slain me. I’ve died and this is hell.”

“It was just a question!” Shu huffed, sounding suspiciously like he was holding in laughter for someone who’s  _ wounded _ his friend  _ fatally _ , “I was simply curious, for future reference if it was to do with your size or—“

Rei managed to squirmed his legs out from under Shu to curl up into a pitiful pose, face scrunched up. “There won’t be a next time because Shu has killed me! There’s no recovering my pride from this…”

Shu rolled his eyes, grabbing at one of Rei’s shoulders. “Oh come now, I didn’t mean to imply premature ejaculation, don’t be so childish! These topics should no longer be a sensitive subject if we’re sexually intimate?”

“It is! It’s still sensitive; It’s your  _ accusatory _ tone that makes it sensitive!”

“Come Rei, hmph,” Shu suppresses a laugh, but his shoulders are shaking, “You know I didn’t mean that!” 

Rei gives Shu one wither glance through his fingers and Shu shakes all over as he lets out the loudest laugh Rei’s ever heard from him. 

Even at the sake of Rei’s ego, how cute Shu sounds doubled over with giggling was kind of worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew, was this chapter ripped from the depths of my heart with Victoria Shu being released!  
> I'm retconing in that the couch that Shu and Rei are currently on looks like the one in his bloomed card. I don't make the rules except that I do, and my number one rule is I Love Shu.  
> Not much to explain this chapter, except that my favorite side of Rei aside from his cute, flirtatious self is when he's being a pathetic idiot and whining. As always, if you like my writing and don't mind a bunch of porn i'm on twitter @bibliobarf !  
> Thanks to ana for existing, and to jo for encouraging, and to nico for being the absolute best!
> 
> A gift for Peach, as always; heart eyes, motherfucker.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> unbeta-d as its been a while since my last update--Rei and Shu adjust around each other. Ritsu makes a vampiric discovery, and did you really think i could possibly write a fic without Mika in it?

There are many peculiarities to today that Shu is having to take a moment analyzing. By all accounts it should be an average weeknight of correcting papers and sewing, and in a sense it is; simply with the addition of a lover.

Oddly a foreign concept to him, it almost makes him want to laugh again, uncouth. Affairs were excerpts in novels he’d skim over, nothing of particular interest in fiction or in reality, past the discomfort of puberty and the mistakes made therein. Still, Shu finds himself in a ‘morning after’ predicament—only it isn’t morning, more early evening and neither party is asleep as they always seem to be after an affair in fiction. Again, Shu finds himself unequipped to handle the tasks set before him; lucky him that Rei is.

His friend—lover? His  _ Rei  _ helps clean up the mess of their transgressions with minimal sniffling and pouting. Then, as Shu falls out of his depths, he continues to prove the most amicable companion and helps him put the dishes away, tea gone cold long ago. Rei asks to borrow his shower, and with a quick exchange and some lent clothes he simply leaves Shu to his work with nothing more than a kiss to his cheek.

Shu was out of his area of expertise. Wasn’t something like meant to feel...guilt wriden? Perhaps at least a bit of anxiousness, a sense of alienation or melancholy. Of course he had agreed and participated wholeheartedly, but with the underlying suspicion that still somehow he was in the wrong.

Why should he be able to feel such easy comfort after obviously going against his better judgement?

Shu wasn’t getting any work done, feeling far too introspective while also far too sated to do much more than think in circles. He was mostly organizing files on various tabletops, letting his mind wander. A flashing notification light from Rei’s bag had been bothering him for ages, but he didn’t wish to be rude and touch his things; so he fluffed Mademoiselle’s gown, and thought. Soon enough, Rei returned.

Hair slightly damp and in Shu’s soft indoor clothes, Rei smiled at him. “Mademoiselle is looking lovely today, did you make her a new dress?”

Shu looks at Rei, and then at Mademoiselle. “How do you—? How did you know about, or rather, how do you know who Mademoiselle is…?”

“It is true monsieur, I don’t believe we have met!” Mademoiselle adds, to Shu’s slight embarrassment. Rei seems unmoved, simply nodding charmingly and taking one of Mademoiselle’s small hands in his own. “How do you do?” He says, giving the porcelain a small kiss.

“Oh my! What a flirtatious friend you’ve made, Shu!”

“Mademoiselle,  _ please _ . This is Rei; we’ve...spoken about him before.” Shu answers, pink in the face and trying to put two and two together. How would Rei know about his..?

“Pleased to make your acquaintance,” Mademoiselle says, ever charming. Rei’s smile is blinding even as Shu suspects him mildly of mind reading, or perhaps stalking.

“My dear Shu, is this the man you were so troubled about some months ago…? I see no reason to worry if you’ve brought him back home! I’m glad to see Shu with such close friends.”

“Ah, yes, you see that’s when I learned of you Mademoiselle.” Rei states, looking at Shu almost apologetically. “You read the files I loaned you, right? There’s a side effect to ah, feeding…”

Two and two add up to four: Shu recalls that vampires have heightened senses after drinking blood from a thrall, such as hearing, taste, sight. He frowns, “So you heard all of that.”

“Not purposefully, I meant to tell you! I’m really very sorry about it.” Rei admits, looking down. “I should have brought it up sooner, but I wanted to compliment the craftsmanship of Mademoiselle’s dress? It’s a very lovely stitch.”

“Shu is such a talented boy, non? He spoils me greatly~”

“Isn’t he so giving? The picture of holy charity!” Rei replies with a sickly sweet smile, and Shu almost feels ill from the oversaturation of genuine affection.

“Having you two meet seems...like a mistake. I don’t wish to distract from compliments of my hard work and sewing prowess,” Shu does actually, “but the phone you hardly use has been lighting up since you left. I suggest you turn notifications off at the least, before the useless device dies on you in an emergency.”

“Ah, fair point Shu.” Rei chuckles, giving a wink, “Until next time, Mademoiselle.”

“My, my such a charmer...I see why you like him so much, dear Shu” Mademoiselle says, giving Rei a dainty wave. Shu tried to ignore the giddy smile Rei gives at Mademoiselles statement, simply placing her back gently where she rests, fluffing her petticoat to billow out the skirt of her dress. Shu turns back to the rare sight of Rei looking at his phone, eyes squinted and mouth frowning. He can’t discern if the frown is because of the squinting (Shu possibly needed to convince the man to get readers sometime) or because Rei hated technology so much it showed through. The expression stayed on his face as he looked up at Shu, surprisingly. 

“...Can you do me a favor, Shu?” Rei asks, “Come with me to Shino’s place?”

 

***

 

There were few house visits involved in conducting a professional choir, and Shu was thankful for that. As an instructor he felt it more pertinent to keep an air of professionalism that simply wouldn't allow for that sort of thing; he deemed it inappropriate. His own choir was closer to him, certainly, as they stood at the merging of his passions for the voice and for his faith; nevertheless, Hajime Shino’s apartment was a place he’d never been to. To see how one of his hardest working pupils lived was somewhat illuminating.

Hajime was not shy about coming from humbler means, and very open with classmates and choir alike about his scholarships; so his flat was small, and in an area close to many shops. His door’s paint peeled and the old walls showed brick in some instances, but the place was still very clean, the only sign of clutter was the amount of stuffed toys Shu glanced from his bedroom, and the corner enclosure where Hajime’s pet rabbits frolicked and hopped about. 

Well, that and where Ritsu lay languidly covered in blankets on his modest couch. 

Rei had shown him the message he’d received from Ritsu after several missed calls from both him and Hajime: a link to a local paper detail some sort of car crash, and a text saying “guess we aren’t immortal after all”

The article had a few pictures, far off shots of the two compact cars and a headshot of a handsome man half-smiling. It detailed the crash as fatal for him, dying at the scene before medics arrived; Rei had never been able to track down the man who had bitten his brother, but it didn’t take much within context to realize who he was.

And so, Shu sat on a comfortable but worn sofa seat as Rei wrapped his body around the blankets that housed his younger brother.

“Ritsu! Are you cold? Why won’t you come out of these quilts and give your brother a hug?” Rei implored, whining.

A hand made it way out of the nest of covers and shoved at Rei’s face rather violently. “Stupid! I knew you’d be stupid if I told you. I told Haa-kun not to call...all you’re going to do is cry on me if I come out.” 

“Ritsuuu, you’re making me cry by  _ not _ coming out!” Rei says, true to his word tearing up (though Shu would assume it was the harsh slap that brought tears and not some emotional sleight. With Rei and his brother one could never be sure,) “It's important to let out your feelings, talk with Onii-chan about this…”

After a few more moments of whining, Ritsu does pop his head out of the blankets, looking like a disgruntled caterpillar. He yawns audibly but still manages to hold his glare to Rei. “Shu-kun,” he says in acknowledgment.

“Good evening, Ritsu-kun” Shu responds politely. Rei makes an afronted noise, and Ritsu rolls his eyes.

“Look I only told you so you wouldn’t do anything stupid to risk your life. We can die, because the guy who bit me is dead. It’s pretty clinical  _ anija _ ; no reason for me to be emotional like you always are.”

“Emotionally  _ healthy _ , you mean.” Rei interjects, “It’s not good for you to lie to yourself like that, or bottle things up.” Shu could see the hypocrisy in this statement from the very recent conversations they had had just earlier that day; but he wasn’t inept. He would withhold outward judgement.

Hajime came into the room carrying a tray with some tea, momentarily stopping the Sakuma brother’s arguing. “It’s a fairly simple white tea blend, if you’d like.” He says, setting it down on the coffee table. 

Ritsu disentangles his limbs from the blankets, but frowns, “I won’t drink Haa-kun’s tea after he told my brother to come annoy me.”

_ Why free your arms then _ ? Shu, again, stays out of it. Socializing seems a spectator sport lest he step in a minefield; he gratefully serves himself a cup of tea and gives Hajime a quick thanks. 

Hajime nods to him, ever polite, and serves a cup with two sugars. “Ritsu needs to speak with someone who understands. I’m not a vampire, and neither is anyone else know you; having to face mortality as an entirely different sort of species, well...how could I ever empathize properly?” He hands Ritsu the sweetened tea, which he takes without hesitation. There’s a communication in their gazes that Shu could almost envy; intimacies he newly wishes to fathom.

“And since you would never reach out on your own...I thought it would be better if we all talked about it, like we do when we study documents from the archive.” Hajime says.

“I’m surprised you didn’t know this detail from the excerpts of documents Rei has shared with me,” Shu says, after taking a drink. “They’re old and difficult to read, but rather thorough.”

“Ah, you’ve read some of it then?” Hajime asks, excited. “Yes, much of it is hard to translate, and where the gaps in information are we’ve had to fill with popular fiction and speculation...so we really had no idea if immortality was a conclusion we could come to or not.”

“At least the bastard had some decency to die nearby so we could confirm we can die~.” Ritsu sips his tea and adds, “Though we could still stay alive a strangely long time if we aren’t killed maybe? It only really means  _ killing _ us is viable, not that natural death can be achieved. Like alligators, or lobsters.”

“...Are you implying alligators are immortal if you don’t kill them?!” Rei says incredulously. Ritsu smirks at him, “I gotta show you this article I read, it was more unbelievable than vampires being real I’m not gonna lie.”

Hajime looks troubled for a moment, putting a finger to his temple. “Though if it was like alligators, wouldn’t that mean you would keep growing exponentiall—?”

The doorbell chimed, everyone in the room turning to the sound. Hajime blinks at it, before seeming to come to a conclusion. “Oh, no! I’d totally forgotten with everything that’s…” he glances at Ritsu, who’s sipping his tea languidly “This conversation isn’t over, just postponed, okay? I’m so sorry about this…”

Hajime hurried over to the door and opens it out of sight, muffled greetings are shared. Rei finally releases his hold on his brother to grab some tea himself, stirring in three sugar cubes as Shu’s student comes back into the room with company.

Shu raises an eyebrow, “Kagehira?”

Mika blanches, eyes wide, “Oshi-san? I mean, Father!”

Rei repeats “Oshi-san~?”

Shu feels a headache coming on.

“I was saying I had some people over, Kagehira-senpai, I’m sorry I should have been more specific!” Hajime says, flustered. “I really did forget you were dropping by to work on things.”

Mika, to his credit doesn’t look like he’s going to run away; Shu has seen the man act like a scared animal in social situations before and wouldn’t be particularly surprised. Seeing two of his choir members on off-duty hours was unusual enough, but Mika simply swallows audibly and nods looking faintly sick. “Work on things? Surely you don’t mean practice, you’re both in entirely different sections for our newest arrangement” Shu inquires.

“Ah, no, Father, ‘m here to do some sewin’ mostly.” Mika answers promptly, seeming to relax. “Could hardly practice without yer instructin’ me anyhow.”

“Shu is a talent without rival,” Rei adds from behind his teacup, and Mika tenses up again.

“Ahh, this is Sakuma-senpai, Ritsu’s older brother.” Hajime says with a pat to Mika’s shoulder. “He’s just here to see Ritsu.”

“Oh, I see,” Mika responds, “Is Ritsu-kun here?”

“Ah,” Rei lets out, glancing to see that his brother had disappeared once more into a large pile of blankets. “Ritsu, where have you gone?! Come out of there and spend time with your brother!” Rei begins tugging at the blankets in a rather undignified manner; Shu sighs and hear Mika snort.

“Is he..? Always like that?” Mika asks Hajime quietly, as Ritsu begins to kick at Rei beneath the blankets to his brothers dismay. 

“It’s a familial love thing.” Hajime says with a small shrug.

“ _ Well _ , I hardly see it fit for us to stay when you have other company.” Shu stands, glancing at Hajime and Mika. “Rei, do let him sleep, you can see him another time. Kagehira, take care not to  _ snort _ so it’s disgusting.”

Rei pouted in Shu’s direction, but he did let go of the blankets. Mika gave a ‘yes, Oshi-san!’ automatically as Shu grabbed for his coat.

“Thanks for the tea, Shino!” Rei says, holding him helmet under an arm. “And for bringing me to Ritsu,” He glances at the cocoon of quilts and coos “We'll talk about this again soon~! Onii-chan loves you!”

A single hand emerges from the pile and gives a nasty gesture. They leave the flat with a wave, strangely more informed than Shu had expected while also feeling socially exhausted from the unexpected interruption; he wasn’t the type for large groups of people, familiar or otherwise. He buttoned his peacoat against the wind, and walked towards the carlot.

Shu and Rei asks each other a question in tandem: “Immortality was a concern you had?” “So that boy call you ‘Oshi-san’ huh?”

Shu blinks at Rei, his face a little pink. “Sorry, ah, just wondering if I should be—jealous you know? Is Mika-kun your...special pupil?”

“No, he is not. Well, I suppose there is some—he’s a full time workload of a student.” Shu sighs, but his heart thrills for some reason. It’s beneath him to be excited in the idea of Rei being jealous of his favor for another man, of course, so it must be a sudden chill. “He’s frankly quite useless, but shaping his voice has become almost a pet project. He needs more attention than others because he isn’t as refined; some could call that favoritism.” 

Rei’s face seems cautious at this, so Shu rests a hand on his arm. “One could not call that  _ attraction _ ; I’ve told him to cease the nickname but he slips up now and again.” Rei’s gaze melts into molten affection, Shu has to resist the urge to look away from it. “Either way, Kagehira has his own partner and is very open about him. Envy is a sin, Rei.” he finishes, putting on his helmet.

Rei places his own on his head while fishing for his keys, laughing under his breath short and sudden. Shu frowns at him, “What’s so amusing?”

“It’s just—how have I met so many gay catholics? Between Shino, this Kagehira, and I mean—you—everyone in the British Isles has to be at this university.” Rei says, laughing again as if it was ripped from his lungs, leaning on his motorbike.

Shu hazards a smile, damn him to hell, but Rei’s mirth was contagious. “I’ve been in men’s choirs for most of my life, Rei, and frankly? You’d be surprised.”

 

***

 

Churches always feel familiar, however unknown they may be to Shu. Even if they’re avant-garde, or ancient the air stays the same: blessed through divine and human will mingling in one space long enough. His own grand cathedral feels so familiar now, being there is as automatic as putting on house slippers. Sunlight becons through stained glass; noon mass ends and the colorful light cuts out within the confessional booth. Shu’s robes fold around him, hands pressing the fabric, strangely light, strangely airy.

“Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.” 

_ We are all sinners unto the Lord; _ Shu sees a shadow beyond the confessional grate.  _ What do you wish to confess? _

“I must confess to carnal sins, Father, a terrible and aching lust.”

There is a pause, the person swallowing so audibly it seems booming. “I...desire another man.”

Shu does the sign of the cross,  _ of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit…  _ They continue, “I want him to the point of distraction. When I'm not around him, it’s an itch but when I am it’s almost a compulsion; I almost can’t help but touch.”

He begins the Lord’s prayer, but does not close his eyes as rainbow light streams into the stranger’s side of the confessional, illuminating the wood but not their form.  _ Our Father, who art in heaven, hallow be thy name... _

“And I have touched him, Father. I’ve held him to me, and licked blood and spit from his mouth like ambrosia. I plan to do it again, if he’ll let me.”

Shu felt himself begin to sweat as the sunlight adjusted its aim again, striking his dark robes. When had he opened the doors to let in the light? Shu closed his eyes,  _ thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven... _

“Is there any prayer that can rectify desire, I wonder? Even now I can feel him, the taste of his blood on my tongue and his cock in my hand. I regret not putting my mouth on him in other ways, you know? I’d pray for more patience next time, to have time to do much more.”

“I want to take him apart with my tongue, feel the weight of him inside my mouth. Tasting it, smelling it; I hope he’ll use my throat til I’m sore and aching so I can remember every inch. I’d drink his cum down faster than I accept the blood of Christ that’s for sure.”

That chuckle seemed familiar, coming from the confessor under Shu’s  _ Amen _ . A strange sensation strikes him, like lips caressing his neck, like hands at his hips. He continues into a new prayer, as the stranger pants hot breath into his ear,  _ Hail Mary, full of grace, the lord is with thee... _

“I think of fucking him a lot, of course. What man could help it? Just imagining his legs hooked at the knee on my shoulder so I could reach inside him so deep makes me tremble. He’d be so beautiful, taking all of me over and over again.” 

There’s a slick sound, squelching through prayer and confession; it’s loud and conspicuous to Shu’s ears, rhythmic. The heat is sweltering now, so bright Shu sees pink with his eyes shut as they are. The confessor grabs his hair in a fist, pulling his head aside to lick at his jaw, nipping his adam’s apple as it vibrates through his prayer; Shu had to finish his prayers…

“He’s got such a nice ass, Father, it’s...I bet it’d fit perfectly into my hands. Maybe I could get him to sit on my dick so i could keep a good grip on it, while fucking into that tight little hole. Fuck, he’s probably never even tried to fit a finger inside, I want to carve a space for myself in him until he won’t remember what it felt like to be apart from me ever again.” Shu let out a moan, there were hands in his hair, touching his chest, grabbing his backside, his crotch. They felt the way the sunlight did, concentrated beams, colorful, hot. 

“God, I want you, Shu.”

With a startled gasp, Shu wakes up. His bed, his sheets; a crack in the bed curtains letting in the gentle morning sun. He let out a deep breath, letting go a grip he held on his quilted sheets. Dare he glance down? There was no need—Shu could feel an uncomfortable stickiness in his undergarments without confirming it visually. Sitting up unsteadily to clean himself off, he vowed to somehow keep Rei from coming to his church again if it was the last thing he’d do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The alligator and lobster thing is wild, isn't it???? Really google how lobsters are kind of immortal. Life is beautiful.  
> Thanks again to everyone for their support! I've been experiencing some dire writer's block, as well as just a lot of things going on to keep me busy and away from a keyboard! Still, I hope this chapter isn't too filler-y; I've planned out what basically spans the rest of the fic and my estimate is chapter 12 or 13 should complete it for good!  
> Thank you for reading m(u u)m  
> A gift for Peach, prince of my strangely erotic confessional dreams.


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